I can't stop crying

[Pam]

I feel the pain in your post and wish I could just give you some (((hugs))) in person. I was fortunate enough to be able to be a stay-at-home mom when my children were growing up and I would wish that for everyone (who wants to) as, in my opinion, that is the best for the child. I realize that in today's economy it is not possible and I sympathize with all of you moms who are going out to work while sacrificing precious time with your little ones. I can imagine how hard that must be and I salute all of you. I really do. Add to that, at the end of a busy work day when you might just want to come home and crash on the sofa there are little ones to care for and a household to run. I don't know how so many of you accomplish all of that and do it so well.

My first thought was to check with your church for babysitting services. You may find out that there is someone out there who is just looking for such an opportunity to care for a baby, and they will be able to put you two in touch with each other. I would be so afraid to hire someone who did not come thoroughly recommended by someone. I think that, for me, putting my child in the hands of a relative stranger would be more than I could take. I probably wouldn't be very productive at work, for all of the worrying I'd be doing.

Maybe you and hubby might be able to look at your budget and *tighten your belts* a bit in order to make your dollars go a little further, although I realize that would involve more time to set in motion than the amount of time you have to work with. I guess you don't have any family nearby who could help - at least temporarily?

You have been through a lot recently and I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are thinking. Life throws curves and you have been handling them as good as is humanly possible. I wish that your hubby was a little more understanding about the feelings that you have as a woman/mother. I guess that's just the difference in the sexes.

Fortunately you do have a little time to work out a solution. I hope that something will fall into place soon. (((hugs)))

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

((((HUGS))))

I don't know what your financial situation is - ie cost of you working (daycare,petrol, clothes etc) vs savings on these costs if you could stay at home??

I am still only working flexi-time - I work as a rentals agent, which is commission only, but I am NOT bringing in enough to justify spending time away from Cali. It was fine before she arrived, as it gave me an interest outisde the home (which I needed), but now I am re-assessing and.....

I don't know if this would work for you, but next month I am flying back to SA to do the "Infant Massage Instructor's Course". This will qualify me to run courses on infant massage for Mums and Babies.

I am going to do this from home - I will only average around $800 per month - IF I run 3 x 90 minute sessions per week. It's NOT a huge income, but it takes the sting off me not working, and when you work out how few hours I will be working it's enough. I am not sure how much Instructors charge for the courses in the US?

I am NOT doing this only for the money - I attended a course with Cali, and I found it to be a beautiful and special way to communicate with her. Now I want to pass this on to other new mums.

Maybe you could look into this....ie
- are there other people in your area offering Infant Massage classes
- if so, are they only doing daytime classes - there MUST be a niche for working mums to attend the class in an evening or Saturday morning, plus then Josh can attend to Aiden whilst you "work"

Other advantages:
- it is an international qualification, so you could still do it if you ever moved
- it's a great way to meet other mums with little ones

PM me if you want more info.

Sorry for the long post, but maybe this could work for you?

[4 Dog Mother]

I was able to be a stay-at-home mom until my youngest was 3. Then I worked part-time 3 evenings a week in a Church office. It worked for us because Carl babysat (why do fathers babysit and we just take care of our children?). It also forced him to spend more time with the kids and see that taking responsibility for everything they need isn't as easy at it sound. It wasn't until Christy was in 4th grade or so that I went full time.

You might think about something like that - then babysitting fees wouldn't be a part of what you are making and you still would have some evenings and weekends with your husband and still be with Aidan a good part of the time.

And I think too that too much has happened recently for you to not react emotionally to this. Losing a baby planned or not has to be tough not just on your emotions but your hormones as well. Grieving doesn't end just because you or others think enough time has passed ( and in this case it hasn't)

And if you find that you should have to go back full time for awhile, it doesn't mean you can't continue to look into ways of changing that and finding a way to be with Aidan. As so many have said, talk to other people and maybe you will find a way that you hadn't even thought of to please both Josh and your need to be with Aidan.

[shihtzulover850]

well why don't you want to work full-time? do you not like yur job?

[caseysmom]

well why don't you want to work full-time? do you not like yur job?

I think if you reread her first post you will answer your own question.

[shihtzulover850]

oh you poor thing. it must be tough.

[Samantha Puppy]

oh you poor thing. it must be tough.

Are you being sarcastic or sincere?