Audrey, I don't know if this will help you, not much will under the circumstances, but still I wanted to let you know how I dealt with the passing of my first two Goldens. When I had to let Natasha go, her breast cancer had spread in spite of surgery and chemo, I was just too depressed to even think what to do. When I was coherent again, I planted a flowering shrub in her memory in the backyard she loved so much. Irina, my second Golden, died very young, at 6 and a half, due to an auto-immune disease. I have her ashes in a marble urn, inside a two-tier planter that has always flowers in the summer. I found that looking at the colors of the flowers reminds me of all the great times we had together.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.