I can't imagine. It sucks that Josh isn't being a bit more supportive and understanding. I don't think it has anything to do with you being lazy or selfish. You are a new mother who wants to be with her new son. That's the most unselfish thing in the world, I think. But, I am not in your shoes, or Josh's. You two have gone through a lot even since I've "met" you in here. I have no doubt this will be just a temporary obstacle, one which you three will come out on top. You may have to do tons of talking and looking and researching, but, I think you can and will find a new situation for Aidan that will allow him the socialization and care he deserves and you want for him. I can't offer a lot of advice, but, I will offer you my thoughts and well wishes. I've been in situations where I thought I'd never be able to cope or find the light at the end of the tunnel, but, things have a way of working out. Good luck with it all!