Bob, as I read your post this morning, I cried. I cried for you, Jeb, me, Killian, Shiloh, Avalanche, Wolf, Gaylord...... I know how you feel. I have been there. The first time was in 1984, with the loss of my first GSD, Wolf. I was sad and MAD that he was gone. I thought that I would never, ever feel good again. I could not look at another dog, especially a GSD. I cried so hard, it felt like my heart was ripped out. I didn't want to live without him, too.
Then....slowly...the house was too quiet when I walked in the door....there were the lonely walks through the neighborhood....there was no one sitting on my feet as I washed the dishes (Wolf liked to sit on my feet..LOL)....
there was this big fluffy white unheard of breed (at the time) at the pet shop stuffed into a small cage... How could I leave that big dog in that tiny cage???? No, I must get her out of there..... The rest is history (Avalanche). Life went on... I was able to love again, but never and will never forget those who have gone before.
When Avalanche passed, I discovered rescue. I thought that I could do something to help, in Avalanche's honor. Her death, as her life, had a purpose.......she had to die, so Killian could live. We rescued him from Death Row, we got there just before his time was up. We were blessed again. Then came our darling, Shiloh (whose passing I am still having trouble with...but getting better). My foster,Thor, is helping with that.
So, even though, right now, you feel that your world is over...you have to go on. There are more dogs who need you. You will do Jeb an honor, by going on and keeping his memory alive in your heart.
Ask for a sign. In some way, you will get one. It might be finding his favorite toy hidden under the sofa...a clump of dog hair on the floor (even though you've vacuumed 1000 times since their passing)...a song on the radio...
Watch for the sign (and let us know what it is here on the bb). I had to wait a while for Shiloh's sign, but Wolf's sign came quickly.
So, yes, many of us here have gone through what you are going through right now. We are here to help you get through it. It is not easy. Hugs.
Save a life, ADOPT!!
Sue
Rainbow Bridge Angels: Thor, Shiloh and Killian, Avalanche and Wolf
(RB Gaylord and Bandit, fosters who have touched my heart)
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