Its not so much i'm affraid to cry, or i'm affraid someone will think badly of me, its just I don't feel comfortable doing it in front of people I guess. I'm weird that way lol. I don't think I'll care with Ruf though, I just want to be with him..I'll just be a little scared.

My bro still can't accept it. He doesn't want to agree to anything, and he doesn't want to do it monday. He thinks hes happy and hes trying to live. I thought that too, but now to me, he just looks like he's in pain. I wish my bro would just think about Rufus, and not about how much he's going to miss him. It might be selfish of me, but I don't want him to suffer, and he doesn't have much of a life, he doesn't do anything. My bro is making this a lot harder, cause everytime he says it, I feel worse, like I'm killing him or something..