I am so sorry for you. I have gone through making that decision and it is hard to do but you don't want your dog to suffer. Don't be afraid to cry either - its better than holding it all in. Some people have a hard time showing their real feelings esp. guys sometimes - but that dosen't mean they are not really hurting. They only freeze the remains to preserve the body (like humans). Our first dog passed away at the vets and I was quite upset when I realized this (we picked her up and took her home to bury her). Our last girl Sam we had put to sleep and she looked so relaxed when it was over that I knew she was finally free of pain and suffering. We had her cremated and her ashes were spread out in a field. We are here for you for what ever you decide.