I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand where you're coming from and it's a very difficult thing to go through when you lose a pet that means so much. I lost my chihuahua 11 yrs. ago and my heart still aches for him. I couldn't bear to part with him, so I had him cremated and I put his ashes in a pet urn I ordered thru a catalog. This urn is a teddy bear that has mohair, metal joints, and suede paws. I have him sitting next to my bed with his pictures on the wall. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my dog. Please send a PM if you'd like to talk. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. Buddy's crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge and is now whole and happy and waiting for the day that you and he can be reunited.