I am sorry you were attacked. I probably would have cried too if someone responded to me like that. My thoughts regarding posts like that, is if someone can't respond civilly they shouldn't respond at all. Let others give suggestions in a caring way and there are plenty of people here who can and did.

I agree that a trip to the vet is step #1 to rule out a UTI. I respect you 100% for wanting to comply with your grandmother's wishes but you might also check with other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) to see if they might like to take a cat or two so that your own home can return to normal. (((hugs)))