Audrey, your post has broken my heart. I am saddened to read about Rufus' pain and yours. It is OK to cry.

You must consider Rufus' quality of life and his suffering. I know such a desicion is very tough to make, but in some situations, we have to think of our furbabies. Letting them go is a very unselfish thing to do. You put their interest and wanting to relieve their pain before your need for them.

My uncle had to put his Great Dane, Mariah, down last Christmas and him and his wife insisted on being with her as they let her go. They held on to her to the end and they said it helps alot.

If you are worried about crying in front of your vet don't. Your vet probably cried when his dog crossed over to RB. Sometimes, crying helps. I know Josie will too.

Rufus will always be with you in your thoughts. He will live on in your memory.

Good Luck with your decision.