These are both hilarious. Loved them.
"A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.) "
"Alligators have poor eyesight but keen hearing. They normally avoid humans. Therefore, it is suggested that persons walking near alligator habitat wear small bells tied to their shoelaces to alert alligators of your presence.
Small alligators will not attach humans. If you spot signs of alligator activity, try to determine the size of the alligators in the vicinity. This can be done by observing the characteristics of their droppings. Small alligator droppings are gray and have a strong fishy smell. Large alligator droppings are dark brown and have small bells in them. "
Where did you find these? Toooo funny.
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Originally Posted by lizbud
After 4-7 days without a real shower, many people can really use this one 
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