Teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them...

[.sarah]

Birth control is better than nothing but it is not the ultimate answer. Seems so many people feel that as long as they have birth control they have free license to not act responsibly. Birth control is never 100% failsafe, and does nothing to prevent AIDS, hepatitis C and other STDs, nor does it teach someone to make responsible decisions and not get themselves into dangerous situations. I've typed plenty of medical reports where a woman/teen on birth control conceived anyway. It is not as rare as you might think.

I would stress... teach responsibility, responsibility, responsibility!

This is true, though they are teaching responsibility in schools (or at least the ones I attended). Parents are a different matter, some just want to be their child's friend as already stated in this thread.

The problem is most teenagers just don't care. Birth control is as responsible as you can be without being abstinent, and most teens don't even seem to consider abstinence as a choice.

Not too many people any more wait for marrige. Out of all my teen friends, I know of one other person who is abstinent. Everyone else uses birth control. My friend that is abstinent has religious beliefs and is waiting until marrige. I have moral values and am waiting until I am old enough and financially ready to support a baby if birth control fails. Not too many teens think before they act upon this anymore, and they don't see any wrong until they are pregnant or have an STD.

[K9soul]

You make some good observations and points Pops. Everything about Western society promotes sexuality, from clothing to television shows/commercials, movies, so on and so forth. It's a huge marketing area for everything from alcohol, clothing, makeup and beauty products to cars, perfumes and all manner of things. I remember when I was in a class studying about marketing and the things commercials and advertisers use most to sell their products, and sexual appeal was one of the top ones. It could be really subtle (the way a camera rolls across the sleek lines of a "sexy" sports car), or obvious (showing a guy drinking beer surrounded by scantily clad women).

Our society is focused on external looks and attracting the opposite sex. The things you mentioned all do contribute to making a physical relationship more tempting and desirable, and like Sarah said, a lot of them just don't really care or consider the consequences until they happen, if then. When I was in school if you weren't on the dating scene and having sex or talking about it, you were a misfit/outcast. I got ridiculed and mocked for not being on the dating scene and part of the cool crowd.

I remember when I was a teen and the big movie craze for all the girls was to watch Dirty Dancing, but my mom wouldn't let me watch it. I wasn't too happy about that but I accepted it. A few months ago it was on TV and I got curious because I had never ended up watching it before, and I decided that night to watch it. I certainly can understand my mom's reluctance after seeing it, that would about stir up any young teenage girl's desire. If that were the type of thing I had watched a lot of at that age, I'm sure I'd have been MUCH more eager to experience it, longing to have those feelings.

Pops is right, it's a lot to expect of someone, especially a younger, inexperienced person, to be surrounded by all of that and restrain from acting on it. It's a natural human instinct and eventually it's bound to win out over logic.

[critter crazy]

A woman who worked with my sis in-law came in one day and told her that her daughter was pregnant! Her daughter was only 14 at the time! I couldnt believe it, well the woman said she would have to put the baby up for adoption because there was no way they could keep it. Well my sis in-law was having troubles concieving so she offered to adopt the baby! well she did and was very happy with the baby. She is now my niece meghan. well 2 yrs later the girl now 16 was pregnant again! I told my sis in-law that they would come back to her to adopt this one as well! The girl contacted my sis in-law and once again she adopted the baby, another girl who is now my niece morgan. I am glad that my sis in-law is happy, and I just adore the girls to death, but what is this teaching the girl??? That she can just give away her probs?? I am all for adoption but,what is this teaching the girl??? I am waiting for the next call that she is pregnant again(her two yr mark is just about here)!!! sorry just had to vent!!!

[Vela]

Very well put posts. I agree with some here and disagree with others but am glad we can keep it civil because conversations like this tend to run high on emotion. I agree with K9Soul and I agree with Pops about a lot of what she says, especially about why it's good to wait and why it is such a waste to throw it away on a guy who doesn't really care about you.

[grybai]

In my opinion, one of the major detriments is the teaching of abstinence only programs in schools... or even safe sex teaching at such a late age. Kids should be learning to take care of themselves in elementary school. I know in a lot of other countries safe sex is something that people are very open about whereas here in the state's it makes people squimish about it. I know so many people who don't use any kind of protection at all, or if they do, it's just birth control. Now as many others have expressed, birth control may be fine if you're in a commited relationship and your partner is disease free, but it is not a cure-all.

There's one free std/sti clinic here in my town where many of my gay friends go to get checked regularly. I know it was never mentioned in any safe sex class I have ever taken.

[Cataholic]

One other random thought that entered my mind this morning as we walked....so many people tie 'moral' in with sex. I find that absurd as sex is probably the one activity we do so very little of, in proportion to all our other activities!!! To say one is moral, or, immoral based on one usually inconsequential part of our day (week, month, year, whatever ) really confuses who we are, in total, as a person.

[Lady's Human]

On a side note (Brought to my mind by cataholic's question about Moral)...

I once saw a description of the Puritans as a group posessed by their hatred of the thought that someone,somewhere might be having fun.

[Edwina's Secretary]

One other random thought that entered my mind this morning as we walked....so many people tie 'moral' in with sex. I find that absurd as sex is probably the one activity we do so very little of, in proportion to all our other activities!!! To say one is moral, or, immoral based on one usually inconsequential part of our day (week, month, year, whatever ) really confuses who we are, in total, as a person.

Reminds me of a line from a book by one of my favorite authors....Parick Dennis. He said that most of the intercourse in a marriage is conversation -- not sex.

** the definition of intercourse is an exchange between two people....

[popcornbird]

It is not only sex that is 'tied' with moral values, but anything that 'can' lead to problems in society, or 'does' lead to problems in society pretty often. Our everyday activities consist of eating, drinking, working, cleaning, talking, exercising, etc. No matter how much someone eats, there's no way it can be wrong, or immoral, or a cause of problems in society. Sure if someone eats too much, he or she could be harming his/her health, but it is not something that would ruin things for anyone else. Working...with working, whether its housework or work outside the house, you're actually helping yourself and also society. Again, cannot be tied to ethics. Cleaning is again a beneficial thing and cannot be tied to ethics. Same with exercise.

Now, there are other issues that CAN and ARE tied to 'morals' or 'ethics', and this is because these things, when done in the wrong or irresponsible way can cause serious harm to people. Drinking...as in, drinking alcohol. For me, personally, it is against my religion and I don't drink it AT ALL, but when you look at it logically, too much drinking causes a person to get drunk, and can lead to car accidents, people getting injured, people getting hurt, even death. Drinking in moderation may not cause harm, but drinking too much...doing things in the WRONG way...yes, that is tied to moral values for the reason stated above. Same with driving. Someone could have a car and drive in a completely safe and proper way. Another can drive the same car like a maniac and possibly hurt others on the road. Driving...same action, but a 'right' way to do it, and a 'wrong' way. This is also something that can be tied to morals. Talking to people. Two people could be talking, but one might be polite and civilized, and the other might be foul-mouthed, constantly cussing and using bad language. Both people are talking...doing the same action, but in different ways. Obviously, the latter is not morally 'appropriate'. When someone gives a friend a gift, the 'morally correct' thing to do is appreciate it and thank the person. If the person doesn't acknowledge the gift, or thank his/her friend for it, obviously, there is something wrong with his/her moral character. This is a small, minor example, but everything counts. Manners, moral values, and ethics are VERY important in life, and gosh, if we all 'decided' our own morals, the whole of society would always be fighting with each other, because every person would make up their own morals which would contradict everyone else's and lead to a disaster. The same goes with sex. It is a natural thing, something almost everyone does, or will do, but when its done in a loyal, committed relationship, a couple benefits from it. When it is done outside commitment, outside a sincere relationship, very often, the results are disasterous. Yes there are situations where relationships that start as a commitment end up broken, but that is certainly not the intention behind the relationship. With fooling around, the intention is different. The results are different. The emotional 'after-effects' are different. If its a strong committed relationship, both man and woman would feel happy and very 'close' to each other afterwards. When done with the wrong person, people often feel intense regret, and sometimes have to deal with a pain that will scar them for life. As the examples I gave above, sex is also something tied to morals and ethics for this reason, and it is for good reason.

Perhaps many of you won't agree with me, but I've seen enough destruction resulting in society from having sex the wrong way, drinking the wrong way, driving the wrong way, and see all of these actions as 'morally-related'. I don't believe *I* decide *MY* morals...it is God who decides what morals are right and what's wrong for me, and everyone. The One who created me from nothing, brought me into this world, gave me health, a mind, a soul...my reason to be in this world to begin with. If God didn't create me, I wouldn't be here. If God didn't give me good health, I wouldn't be able to get it. If God took my breathing away, I wouldn't be able to breathe until He decided to let me breathe again. If God took all of the water in our world away, nothing could be done to get it back. When God in His mercy provides us with EVERYTHING, how could I even think of breaking His rules and regulations for me to follow? What is the point of living and then dying if there was no purpose of life? Is the purpose of life to be born, eat, drink, study, work, reproduce, and die? That's it? Truly, that doesn't make sense to me. There IS a purpose of life, and we are ALL going to die one day...each and every one of us. We see loved ones leaving this world everyday in front of us. Doesn't it make everyone concerned about their own souls? Its going to happen to ALL of us. Moral values in life are moral values. They are not something each of us invent according to our own wants or desires. They are MORAL values. If a person wants to live in a certain way, or do certain things, that person has the full right to live how he/she wants. That, however, doesn't mean a person with a knife who chooses to harm animals for no reason has good morals just because he decides those as his morals. Some people hunt for fun. On PT, we all know those people have bad morals when it comes to concern about other living beings, but they might not agree. They might say, "We decide OUR morals..." The fact is, those are NOT good morals. They're not. They can't be. The definition of 'morals' is pretty much having good human character or conduct. All of these issues fall in the same category. While I love many of you dearly, I have to disagree on this. Perhaps I feel too strongly about it...but that is the way I am. If I believe something is wrong, I see it as wrong, and that's that. Even if the 'wrong' is committed by the most dear person to my heart, even though I may love the person, the action is still wrong. Gosh, we are all human beings. I know that I personally HAVE done wrong in my life. I *have* had improper morals in certain issues at certain times. That doesn't mean I would boast about it, or think I was RIGHT about it. Sure I did those things at the time because that's what I saw as 'fit' in my limited human brain, but it doesn't mean those were honorable things to do. I have never really done anything majorly bad (he he he), but minor things. I try my best to correct myself...to correct my mistakes, correct my morals. I ask family members to correct me if they feel I've done or said something 'wrong' that I shouldn't have. I WANT to live a morally 'good' life, but that doesn't mean I will never make mistakes. I want to correct myself in any negative things I may have in myself, but that doesn't mean I will ever be able to correct everything, and make myself a perfect person. It just won't ever happen. Its trying our best that counts. The intention. As human beings, none of us are perfect. That doesn't mean we can claim to have perfect morals. While most of us probably try our best to be good morally, that doesn't mean we are perfect. None of us are. I just try my best to live the best life I can, knowing this life is temporary, knowing there is an eternal life to come, my main goal in THIS life is to live a proper, moral life, being sincere to God for as long as I live. As He is the One who created me, who else is more deserving of my sincerity and obedience? No one.

Lastly, I do not believe sex is something most people do very little of. I bet there are people who do is nearly everyday, or at least several times a week. Probably most people who are in a committed, loving relationship, but again, none of us have any business to think of or worry about the frequency of anyone else's actions, especially when it comes to this.

Just my feelings about this, and please know that I'm not directing my comments at anyone on PT, and don't feel any anger towards anyone at all. I just wanted to voice my feelings on this topic, with all due respect.

[lizbud]

One other random thought that entered my mind this morning as we walked....so many people tie 'moral' in with sex. I find that absurd as sex is probably the one activity we do so very little of, in proportion to all our other activities!!! To say one is moral, or, immoral based on one usually inconsequential part of our day (week, month, year, whatever ) really confuses who we are, in total, as a person.

I'm not sure I follow the logic of this statement. Do You mean
morality depends on the frequency of a behavior?

[Lady's Human]

I think in a way she was stating that morality is the whole person, not one part of what that person does.

[Giselle]

You know, Pops, I think you've given all of us a lot to think about. I really had to ponder over what you said about a person receiving a gift and not acknowledging it. That really opened up a new page to me. From what I gather, life is a gift given to us. But so many young and old people today do not acknowledge it. They don't realize what a gift this life is. They don't understand the emotional bliss they can receive when they abstain from dangerous activities. They're too consumed with physical pleasure. While physical pleasure can give you momentary happiness, it is only temporary. Young people today don't realize the full extent of emotional happiness. They aren't even fully mature in the mind; how can they expect to go through the actions of intercourse and expect to feel a fulfillment that can only happen through a committed relationship? I don't know how or when or why, but teens today are in a rush to grow up. They're in a rush to skip all the emotional and intellectual maturity that is crucial to a happy life and sacrifice their childhood for a few moments of physical pleasure that may make them feel "grown up". It's sad.

America is continually pushing its youth to grow up, but I don't think anybody ever expected children to go out and start "growing up" in such a detrimental way.

Part of me wants to agree with G.P.Girl, but another part of me wants to disagree. Yes, sex is a very taboo subject in our society (I think it's taboo in EVERY society). Open communication *might* encourage a few girls here and there to wait, it might convince people to use protection, it might even curb sexual tendencies. However, I think other societies which are even more conservative regarding sex have even less teens experiencing with intercourse at an early age. When you are afraid of something, you don't go out and put yourself in a position that will encourage your fear. If a person does not know a single thing about sex, s/he will likely not go out and do it. Also, "protection" is certainly not the only way to control birth. Obviously, you're a high school student, but just the fact that you said that protection (I'm guessing you mean condoms) is the only way to prevent birth shows that kids in America don't even receive adequate education regarding sex anyways. For what it's worth, people don't even need a physical object, such as a condom, as a method of birth control. There is something called Natural Family Planning, aka the Rhythym method, the Calendar method, etc.

(P.S. When I said "the battle to end pregnancies", I meant that in a positive way.)

[Cataholic]

I think in a way she was stating that morality is the whole person, not one part of what that person does.

Thanks, LH! That was EXACTALY what I meant.

And, Pops....the difference here, for me, is that my God doesn't forbid all those things you were mentioning. I do drink, for example, and 'my' religion doesn't forbid it. As for the others....well, I DO choose my morality. I don't feel out of touch with God at all. Not one bit.

And, I might argue a bit with your examples on food, cleaning, exercise, etc. Anything done to an excessive fault is harmful. Sure, it has the added benefit of doing some good, too, but, it is harmful. They even have a disease named for some of the obsessions- OCD, comes to mind, immediately.

For me? Living the life I want to live, the one that I am comfortable with, works for me! I am happy, and I am 'good'...as in to others(most of the time, sometimes the ignorance of my neighbors drives me to less than kind things ). That is morality.

[sirrahved]

My personal theory is that it is talked about so much that it becomes appealing. When I was sixteen I wanted to wait until marriage. The friends that I had chosen at that point were already sexually active. I went to a party with them and put myself into a position where I was raped. My friends were all proud of me for "finally" losing my virginity.

In school we started sex ed in 7th grade. Sex is on tv, in the movies, etc. If you have raging hormones and hear about sex about a billion times a day, it's just a natural consequence of our sinful natures.

I plan on not allowing my children to attend sex ed classes. I would much rather teach them on my own that sex is an amazing, beautiful thing shared between a husband and wife, and that when experienced outside of this bond, can cause pain, disease, unwanted pregnancies, and heartache.

Just my humble opinion.