Teenage pregnancies and the battle to end them...

[lizbud]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

[Vela]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

I wasn't going to reply to this thread but I agree with you 100%. Parents are so worried about being their child's friend they don't parent like they should. Things that sholdn't be accepted are accepted too often and limits aren't set they way they should be in a lot of cases.

[lute]

it's really sad how many teens are getting pregnant. when i moved back to my home town last summer i was shocked to see a lot of my friends from elm. school had bellies. most of them either the father left or they don't know who the father is. a frind of mine is 19 and just had her 5th abortion last year!!! she shows NO feelings about it at all. she just acts like it's another bump in her road of FUN.

i like the origonal idea that God had...wait till yer married to have sex.

[.sarah]

That is so weird that you posted this thread because I just found out about 30 minutes ago that one of my friends is pregnant. She has been fooling around for a while and, quite frankly, I'm surprised it took her so long to get pregnant. This one time she figured she didn't need birth control. She decided not to have an abortion. She's 16 now, and will be 17 by the time the baby comes.

My other friend gave birth to a baby girl on Valentines day. I think she planned this, though. Her and the father are engaged. She was 17 when she got pregnant and 18 when she gave birth.

Birth control, birth control, birth control!!!

[K9soul]

Birth control is better than nothing but it is not the ultimate answer. Seems so many people feel that as long as they have birth control they have free license to not act responsibly. Birth control is never 100% failsafe, and does nothing to prevent AIDS, hepatitis C and other STDs, nor does it teach someone to make responsible decisions and not get themselves into dangerous situations. I've typed plenty of medical reports where a woman/teen on birth control conceived anyway. It is not as rare as you might think.

I would stress... teach responsibility, responsibility, responsibility!

[Vela]

Well said K9Soul!!! It's not just about pregnancy...although that is a huge factor, what about AIDS? Did everyone forget about it? I guess herpes is not a big deal now since they have a drug you can take to help with outbreaks...Or maybe a little hepatitis C or gonorrhea would be fun. Or maybe just for fun try out some genital warts, that often leads to cervical cancer even in teens and early 20s and then you dont get to have kids when you are older since you sometimes end up having hysterectomies to remove the cancer or having so much of your cervix removed that you can't support a future pregnancy. Birth control is great, but that's not a free liscense to just sleep around and do whatever sounds fun, kids nowdays don't seem to realize that dangers and sex is just as much now as a handshake. It's scary. And it's true, birth control doesn't always work, and it sure doesn't prevent those other diseases. I know it sounds fun but it's not worth throwing away your future, for those who engage in it so frivolously! I get so scared for kids nowdays, it's really a shame. Many of them see nothing wrong with just having sex for the heck of it. It's too bad=(

[.sarah]

Birth control is better than nothing but it is not the ultimate answer. Seems so many people feel that as long as they have birth control they have free license to not act responsibly. Birth control is never 100% failsafe, and does nothing to prevent AIDS, hepatitis C and other STDs, nor does it teach someone to make responsible decisions and not get themselves into dangerous situations. I've typed plenty of medical reports where a woman/teen on birth control conceived anyway. It is not as rare as you might think.

I would stress... teach responsibility, responsibility, responsibility!

This is true, though they are teaching responsibility in schools (or at least the ones I attended). Parents are a different matter, some just want to be their child's friend as already stated in this thread.

The problem is most teenagers just don't care. Birth control is as responsible as you can be without being abstinent, and most teens don't even seem to consider abstinence as a choice.

Not too many people any more wait for marrige. Out of all my teen friends, I know of one other person who is abstinent. Everyone else uses birth control. My friend that is abstinent has religious beliefs and is waiting until marrige. I have moral values and am waiting until I am old enough and financially ready to support a baby if birth control fails. Not too many teens think before they act upon this anymore, and they don't see any wrong until they are pregnant or have an STD.

[K9soul]

You make some good observations and points Pops. Everything about Western society promotes sexuality, from clothing to television shows/commercials, movies, so on and so forth. It's a huge marketing area for everything from alcohol, clothing, makeup and beauty products to cars, perfumes and all manner of things. I remember when I was in a class studying about marketing and the things commercials and advertisers use most to sell their products, and sexual appeal was one of the top ones. It could be really subtle (the way a camera rolls across the sleek lines of a "sexy" sports car), or obvious (showing a guy drinking beer surrounded by scantily clad women).

Our society is focused on external looks and attracting the opposite sex. The things you mentioned all do contribute to making a physical relationship more tempting and desirable, and like Sarah said, a lot of them just don't really care or consider the consequences until they happen, if then. When I was in school if you weren't on the dating scene and having sex or talking about it, you were a misfit/outcast. I got ridiculed and mocked for not being on the dating scene and part of the cool crowd.

I remember when I was a teen and the big movie craze for all the girls was to watch Dirty Dancing, but my mom wouldn't let me watch it. I wasn't too happy about that but I accepted it. A few months ago it was on TV and I got curious because I had never ended up watching it before, and I decided that night to watch it. I certainly can understand my mom's reluctance after seeing it, that would about stir up any young teenage girl's desire. If that were the type of thing I had watched a lot of at that age, I'm sure I'd have been MUCH more eager to experience it, longing to have those feelings.

Pops is right, it's a lot to expect of someone, especially a younger, inexperienced person, to be surrounded by all of that and restrain from acting on it. It's a natural human instinct and eventually it's bound to win out over logic.

[sirrahved]

My personal theory is that it is talked about so much that it becomes appealing. When I was sixteen I wanted to wait until marriage. The friends that I had chosen at that point were already sexually active. I went to a party with them and put myself into a position where I was raped. My friends were all proud of me for "finally" losing my virginity.

In school we started sex ed in 7th grade. Sex is on tv, in the movies, etc. If you have raging hormones and hear about sex about a billion times a day, it's just a natural consequence of our sinful natures.

I plan on not allowing my children to attend sex ed classes. I would much rather teach them on my own that sex is an amazing, beautiful thing shared between a husband and wife, and that when experienced outside of this bond, can cause pain, disease, unwanted pregnancies, and heartache.

Just my humble opinion.

[cali]

well to be honest I have 2 young friends with kids, 1 I have known since she was a little girl, her mom is EXTREMLY over pretective and over parents her kids, this friend was only 15 when she had the kid, her mom stuck by her and so did her boyfriend, but I think she is very lucky in that department. the other is the mom of my nephew, she also has parents that over parent, she is 18 years old, and the baby is 2 months, her parents also stuck with her, and so did my brother, not as boyfriend/girlfriend, but as the mom and dad who both want a part in the kids life. , I have a 16 year old friend who has been sexually active since she was 15, her parents also over-parent. see a pattern forming here?

[G.P.girl]

I don't really know a whole lot of people who are pregnant at your school, i saw a girl who was pregnant my freshman year and then there was a girl this year who got pregnant and tranfered schools. and while it was their fault, i think many of you are putting the blame soley on the girls, when actually it is just as much the guys' fault as the girls'. Also, i think that if sex weren't such a taboo subject in our society then we would be able to be more open about discussions between parents/their children and about getting the protection that we need. (by we i dont mean just teenage girls, i mean anyone who isnt lookign to get pregnant) i dont think it is very realistic to teach abstinance to kids and not teach anything about protection to them. because even if they do wait until they are married they will still need to use protection within their marriage unless they plan to only have sex when they want to get pregnant. which again, isn't very realistic.

[popcornbird]

I hope I won't offend anyone with my post, but this is something that really bothers me, and I do believe I know the reason teenage pregnancy is sooooooo common in Western society.

The reason...

Lack of education? Perhaps part of the problem...

Lack of parental guidance? Pretty big part of the problem...

Lack of religious or moral values?...pretty major problem in my opinion.

Too much socialization with members of the opposite sex in explicit clothing? MAJOR PROBLEM...

The fact is, no matter how much you educate kids about sex and the consequences, it is a NATURAL thing, a natural urge, and the trigger is NOT education, or lack of education. In fact, being constantly talked to about sex could trigger curiosity about it, and the wish to experiment. The trigger, and main trigger is WAY too much opposite sex mingling. In societies where men and women are not so 'free' and 'open' with each other, this problem is not nearly as common.

Face it. When there are half naked girls around boys in schools, cafes, restaurants, malls, magazines, EVERYWHERE...and there are boys out there who follow lust and desire and have no moral values, what is to be expected? How can a society give boys and girls the full freedom to be alone together, do anything together, expose their bodies to each other, and then, expect nothing to happen? If there are boys and girls together, and those boys and girls have no moral values or no proper upbringing, sooner or later, they are going to be involved in the act. When these girls and boys are encouraged to go to proms, dance together, hug and kiss each other...my gosh...doesn't anyone know how human emotions work? When young boys and girls are encouraged to interact, show each other affection, dance...only a strange person would have no feelings or desires develop from that. Once youngsters begin desiring sex and have the full opportunity to be with members of the opposite gender, that's calling for trouble. Our society has a major lack of moral character in general, and instead of being discouraged, it is encouraged. It is not only the open sex issue, but people in society, youngsters in general often use foul language, have no respect for others, and have hardly any manners at all. The problem needs to be nipped at the roots, not at the leaves. When a leaf or stem is cut off a plant, it just grows back. Until the problem is cut at the roots, nothing is going to change. Until boys and girls are taught to refrain from each other and stay in the boundaries, nothing's going to change. If boys and girls are encouraged to dress in exposing clothes, sit close to each other, hold hands, kiss, hug, dance, be close friends, and do anything and everything together, their parents shouldn't go crying when their daughter announces her pregnancy. The problem is the lack of moral values in society. People LIKE to stay outside of marriage these days so that they can fool around and not have a commitment with one person. Married couples so often break their commitment and fool around with other people. The result is the destruction of the family. Destruction of the family is destruction of society, as the bases and roots of a good society are good, close, committed families. Where have the family values gone today? Where have moral values gone? Really...the lack of moral values in this world often makes me sick, and it really isn't a problem that hard to solve. The only problem is people LIKE to expose themselves in ways that WILL lead to trouble. Like it or not, being too close to the opposite gender is the root of the problem. When people don't follow the commandments of their Creator, they will be in for trouble no matter what. Sex is supposed to be something you do with the one special person you've committed your LIFE to...not something to do with a random 'anyone'. Yuck.

Come to think of it, having a sexual relationship with the one special person in your life that you're committed with, starting a family together, blooming together, sharing a bond of love is probably one of the MOST beautiful parts of life that God has created. Something that can bring a person such joy is so abused these days, to the point that its results in society has become a big problem. People who do things the wrong way have to face the consequences, and sadly, when something wrong becomes so accepted in society, then it is the entire society that will have to face the consequences of the matter. People think using birth control or condoms makes irresponsible sex safe. In my opinion, that is nothing but BS. Many people who use BC STILL get pregnant. Its not a guarantee. Even if one DOESN'T get pregnant, having sex makes a person VERY close to each other. When that closeness is not a committed bond, once it breaks (and it DOES most of the time), it causes great emotional pain. Emotional pain is sometimes worse than physical pain. Why do things that would hurt you in the end? Parents need to discourage girls from dressing in exposing clothing, and they need to discourage both boys and girls from being too involved with each other. Until that happens, nothing is going to change. The root of the problem is boys and girls mingling too freely. In families and societies where free opposite gender mingling is prevented, these problems hardly exist...and people who live such lifestyles still experience love, relationships, and probably a much deeper, truer commitment with their partners than people who fool around and have relationships with many, many people throughout their young years.

JMHO on this topic that often upsets me.

[Lori Jordan]

My friend works in the Maturnity ward in Brockville and she has said many many times,There seems to be more teenagers having children then adults.The sad thing is most of these girls end up on Welfare that is what bugs me the most.

[Jessika]

I believe a lot of parents nowadays want to be a friend to their child instead of a parent.Parents generally don't challenge their kids to do
better in life. If you don't expect much of a child in life, you get what you
create.

Yeah that's how my mom is, which is why I am SO surprised my sister(s) and I turned out the way we did. My youngest sister just turned 12, so she has yet to go through all of this, but you can bet that if my parents start slacking I will NOT be afraid to be the "bad guy". Its not my place, but I do NOT want my sister to screw up. My mom is too worried about us being mad at her and just wants to be our friend, well it doesn't work that way because then we feel we can take advantage of and walk all over our parents. Sure, sex is ok to have now at younger and younger ages! Parents don't care, shoot they will take you to get birth control and protection (which, don't get me wrong, is better than having no protection at all, but they should REALLY be sitting down and talking with their children about it, and offer to help get protection if they are adament about doing it. My fiance's sister is like that, very manipulative and so disrespectful to her parents that they ended up kicking her out at age 17. But that is a whole other story). But to sum it up, education is a major part, parental supervision and involvement in their children's lives is an even bigger part! It all boils down to the parents nowdays and being too afraid to parent/discipline children!

Anyway that's all I have to say about that, because I don't want to start writing a novel (as I have already lol).

[Vela]

Hahah it's hard not to write a novel about it=) Pops has a lot of good points. I also discourage my children from being friends with the opposite sex. I go out of my way to make my home open to all of their friends as a gathering place, I take them to and from friends houses so they get to hang out with friends all of the time, but i discourage opposite sex friends because I just don't think it's necessary to have that at their age and only leads to trouble. I also am very picky about the clothing my kids wear. My oldest is 13 and she doesn't wear short shorts, or short skirts, or tank tops. She isn't allowed to show her belly or walk around looking like a young prostitue, which is how many in society dress nowdays. My daughter actually LIKES to be covered, because it's what she's been taught since she was a baby. She doesn't even ask for clothing that doesn't cover her up. She wears capris or longer skirts and she can wear tank tops with jackets or other shirts over them but she doesn't feel like she needs to show off her body to the world. Girls run around mostly naked and then get offended if someone wants them to cover up! Boys aren't much better. I can't change society, but I can try to help my kids get through these teen years as easily as possible with a strong beleif in God (that's how our family works, but not everyone beleives in that), strong beleif in being moral and keeping ourselves more covered than not, and we have discussed sex but not the literal aspects of it, and why it's important to wait. My children also will not be attending the school's sex classes because I beleive they are inappapropriate. Kids nowdays are bombarded with sex from the time they are small children. In fact I saw a billboard, HUGE, on my way down the highway showing a pair of very large breasts and a bra...it was an advertisement for plastic surgery. It's VERy hard nowdays to try to prevent our kids from seeing it all around them but we limit TV, limit the movies and things they are allowed to watch and do the best we can. I just wish society wasn't so gung ho to force the sex issue on kids at such a young age and expect them to understand the ramifications of it. Anymore the exception is the virgin, and those are ridiculed by their peers. That is horribly sad. I think it's parent's responsbility, but I also think it's society's responsbility as a whole to stop promoting sex like it's nothing, like everyone should just go out and sleep around. Not only is is degrading and damaging, but it's also dangerous. I actually agree with you about most of what you said Pops, it's a sad thing to see and rally doesn't seem like such a hard thing to fix if everyone would stop acting like it's okay to just have sex with everyone and have one night stands, etc. etc. and if people would teach their kids how to avoid dangerous situations that get them raped or hurt or having sex before they are really ready.