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Thread: I deserve an award ;)

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Chicagoland, IL
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    2,608
    Just because she isn't your biological daughter doesn't mean you can't love and support her as if she were your own.

    Actually, you do deserve an award. As caseysmom and Karen said, they probably see a lot of teen pregnancies, and very little support.

    Kudos to you!




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Ladies, we need to stop comparing men to dogs. Dogs are loyal!" Wanda Sykes

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    Montana USA
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    5,936
    I have wanted to say this for some time. You are the Mom in your home if the kids want to call you that is up to them .But to keep calling yourself stepmom just to me doesn't sound right ,you are doing the moms role. I love a line from the old Brady bunch show ." The only steps are right here leading up to our home and it is full of Love for all in it."
    Just my thoughts I don't say it to make any one angry. My husband calls his step father dad. Maybe it's time to call her your daughter not step daughter I know you do think of her as such, maybe it can help .
    Maybe I'm off base here but I have held this in for about a year.
    I've been boo'dMerlin my angel

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    3,448
    We all new you were a cool step-mom.

    Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our life whole

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
    15,827
    Quote Originally Posted by Corinna
    I have wanted to say this for some time. You are the Mom in your home if the kids want to call you that is up to them .But to keep calling yourself stepmom just to me doesn't sound right ,you are doing the moms role. I love a line from the old Brady bunch show ." The only steps are right here leading up to our home and it is full of Love for all in it."
    Just my thoughts I don't say it to make any one angry. My husband calls his step father dad. Maybe it's time to call her your daughter not step daughter I know you do think of her as such, maybe it can help .
    Maybe I'm off base here but I have held this in for about a year.
    Corinna, I only called her step-daughter here because in the past when I simply called her a my daughter, it caused a LOT of confusion. I just got used to saying Step-daughter here to cut down on confusion and get advice a little more tailored to the unique role a step parent plays in a family..... and with the one that's pregnant, I've sought a LOT of advice over the years about her!

    In life I often FORGET she's a step daughter and when I tell people I'm going to be a grandmom their eyes bug out and they ask "Um, how old is she and how old were YOU?" Yes, thats quite a nosey question but I don't mind because it IS human nature to wonder (by the way, I would have been 15 when she was born.... so yeah, I look waaaayyyy too young to be a grandmom). I minded the question EVERYONE asked us about when hubby and I were going to have a baby of our own - to me that was nosey and NOT simple curiosity. I felt I DID have children of my own with my husband. They just didn't share my biological information.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,789
    I think you are doing an awesome job, one that any mother would hopefully do for her daughter, the fact that you are a step-mom makes it all the more special. You don't have to love her because she is your daughter, you love her because you want to. You've made this step-mom proud.
    Gayle - self proclaimed Queen of Poop
    Mommy to: Cali (14 year old kitten)
    (RB furbabies: Rascal RB 10/11/03 (ferret), Sami RB 24/02/04 (dog), Trouble RB 10/08/05 (ferret), Miko RB 20/01/06 (ferret) and Sebastian RB 12/12/06(ferret), Sasha RB 17/10/09 (border collie cross), Diego RB 04/12/21

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    Montana USA
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    5,936
    I think you are a wonderful momto the kids and I think now all in the house will realize what a great one you are. I didn't mean any thing negitive with my other post. I do seem to remember some confustion your right. We do all know that you do think of them as yours. Nothing wrong at all about that DNA is over rated. I have an adopted brother and hes my brother none of us even see that hes an native american with his dark skin and our pale white scottish skin.
    I've been boo'dMerlin my angel

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Glendale Heights, IL (near Chicago)
    Posts
    3,288
    I think what you are doing is wonderful. My brother is gay and my dad is a typical tough guy dad. Sometimes people are surprised how well my dad and brother get along. What was he supposed to do? Kick him out? No way. They are really close now and have been for a while. I know it's different, but it's still all about accepting your kids with all their traits, mistakes, and blessings.
    Billy and Willy! (2 of my 4)


  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Pixsburgh
    Posts
    5,004
    You most certainly do deserve an award! I think that my parents would have been supportive had I gone through the same thing, but I think it's hard to say until you are actually in the situation. I believe that a lot of parents do not handle this situation very well, and you were really thrown into the whole thing late considering you didn't even find out she was pregnant until she was 7 months along. All that considered, you are giving her so much love and support, yes, you do deserve an award

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Greenville, SC, USA
    Posts
    17,925
    Kim, I admire you so much for the support you are offering to your stepdaughter. The sad thing is that you have seen it coming for a long time, but you are there for her. Good for you! You are much more her "mother" than her biological mother.

    Logan

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Fort Wayne, Indiana
    Posts
    2,476
    Believe me, I think you are doing a WONDERFUL job at this, especially considering how you found out, and that she is already 7 months along! You DO deserve an award! You stand beside your "daughter", proud to be with her and supporting her through what must be so bizarre for her. All of the changes that she will see in her body and her social life will mean continued support even after the little one arrives. And from what I have learned about you, you will be there for everyone! That is a lot to ask of someone, and some may choose to ignore the situation and not be as helpful and supportive as you have been!

    CONGRATULATIONS on everything! By the way, I bet your Mom is proud of you... after all, she is the one who helped you to become the wonderful person you are!

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