Cyber AA Meeting...Come on down!!!

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

In 1983 when I was 21 years old, I met a guy I'll call Scott. We met in a bar, we were both drunk, and we got along great! I was just out of an abusive relationship and truly on my own for the first time in my life, and I was going to have fun, and Scott and I spent much time in bars having a greatt time! We dated for 2 - 3 weeks when one day I got flowers, with a note basically saying "I had to go away, go on with your life and forget about me." I was heartbroken! I went on with my life, eventually dated other guys, and only months later did I find out that he had checked himself into Hazelden in Minnesota. He had gotten out of Hazelden and was living in a half-way house when he contacted me again and said that meeting me is what made him realize what a hold alcohol had on his life and how bad he wanted to break that hold....so we could start a life together. I was flabbergasted! Here was this guy who I had had a fantastic time with, who then dumped me like a hot potato, and after being completely totally out of my life (with no explanation mind you) was now saying he wanted a life with me! Well...needless to say I gave the guy a chance and we ended up getting engaged. In an attempt to understand his problem, I attended a few Al-anon meetings. I remember them talking about being an enabler and all that stuff, but I always thought most of what they talked about didn't apply to me, because my alcoholic was already not drinking and I really couldn't relate to the people who were still dealing with drunken rages and such.

Anyway, we got along great, and we even kept going to bars now and then to hang with our friends. I could never understand how or why he wanted to be in bars, but he still enjoyed the company of his friends, he just didn't drink like he used to. We were supposed to be married in September of 1985. Early in 1985 I realized I really didn't want to be married - had nothing to do with him, it was the whole idea of marriage and kids that I wanted to no part of, so I broke it off. I felt really bad because I didn't want to be the reason he started drinking again. Thankfully he didn't. Last I heard he was celebrating 3 years of sobriety and had met another wonderful girl he was about to marry.

That was all many many many many years ago, and I have no doubt that he is now about to celebrate his 23rd year of sobriety.

As for me, I like to have a drink now and then, and sometimes 2 or 3, but long ago I learned that that was enough. I can't take the horrible sick feeling the next day - especially as I get older - and I can always stop when I want to. However, I have immense respect for those who have been able to conquer this beast. I can't even quit drinking Coke, so I can only imagine how hard it is to completely change your life and quit drinking alcohol. Congratulations to you all!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

How does one know if he/she is in trouble?

I realised I had a problem when I couldn't remember the last day I had gone without a drink or the last time I had just fallen asleep naturally......I kept going home from "events", being very ill and not remembering most of the evening and my final wake up call was finding myself swigging from the vodka bottle first thing in the morning because I felt so dreadful from the night before. Drink was controlling me but now I am going to control it. I have an addictive personality - simple things like being unable to buy a single lipstick - I have to buy at least 3 so I guess I'm the same with alcohol

[odaat]

I realised I had a problem when I couldn't remember the last day I had gone without a drink or the last time I had just fallen asleep naturally......I kept going home from "events", being very ill and not remembering most of the evening and my final wake up call was finding myself swigging from the vodka bottle first thing in the morning because I felt so dreadful from the night before. Drink was controlling me but now I am going to control it. I have an addictive personality - simple things like being unable to buy a single lipstick - I have to buy at least 3 so I guess I'm the same with alcohol

I can't say if you are an alocoholic, but what you're describing sounds like it is very probable you are - please check out this site to get help in the UK:

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

I know it's scarey, no one WANTS to be alcoholic, but if you are, you are. There's hope! Some of the nicest people I know are RECOVERING alcoholics!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Yikes! Just had a look - answered "yes" to too many questions........

Thank you

[Laura's Babies]

Both are adult topics, topics that children needn't read or try to understand.

Believe me Karen, the children do understand. I knew everyone elses parents were not like mine and I never brought friends home. On garbage day, when the truck would come, our garbage can was full of whiskey bottles and beer cans. A garbage can of beer cans sound so different than regular household garbage and I was ashamed for the garbage men to see me. I played outside a lot because the house smelled of the booze and it stunk to me.

Thing is, I never thought it was my fault, it was just what they did and while it had a impact on my life as a child, the only emotion I ever felt about it was shame. I never felt cheated or mad at them for what they did either. My parent we just my parents and I loved them no matter what they did.

On a lighter side, since we have grown up, us kids have talked about our lives as children of alcoholics and my little brother who never says how he feels about anything made the remark, that while we didn't have the greatest parents or "things" life had to offer, what he has seen as a policeman has made him realize we REALLY had it GOOD! I have also learned that just by seeing people and how some of people live.... if you can call it living. We always felt loved and that is all I cared about.

[Catty1]

Karen KNOWS that kids need to know - but Pet Talk is not the place for them to learn.

Alateen, guidance counsellors. etc

Catty1

[My Peanuts]

Keep it up everyone! I'm not an alcoholic, but my dad is a recovering alcoholic and most of his family are still on the bottle so I have seen the struggle.

As for kids reading this, I have known many "kids" that were in AA before they were 21. For me, it's not unheard of to hear of kids at 12 and 13 drinking anymore. To be honest, if you are old enough to be on PT, then you are old enough to already have a problem. It's sad, but true.

[odaat]

Yikes! Just had a look - answered "yes" to too many questions........ Thank you

That's okay, just be honest. It's a step in the right direction. Now be sure to go back to that site and find out some more.

[Anon]

Hello.
I'm a member of Pet Talk but like Odaat,I've created an anonymous id. I trust that Paul and Karen will respect me enough to not reveal my identity,as I know they have ways of finding out.

I drink at night,every night. Most times I go through 1/2 bottle at night. I do work,and so far no-one knows. Not myfamily,not my friends. I want to quit,Iwant to save money. Help me please.

[Karen]

If you want to stop, admitting that is the first step, right? You've done that, right now, to us.

Have you been to an AA meeting? You can go and just observe, you don't need to "spill your guts" right away.

[RedHedd]

Hello.
I'm a member of Pet Talk but like Odaat,I've created an anonymous id. I trust that Paul and Karen will respect me enough to not reveal my identity,as I know they have ways of finding out.

I drink at night,every night. Most times I go through 1/2 bottle at night. I do work,and so far no-one knows. Not myfamily,not my friends. I want to quit,Iwant to save money. Help me please.

Congratulations! You've just taken the first step. I've heard it said in AA meetings, if you THINK you have a problem, you do. The good news is that we're here to help.