Cyber AA Meeting...Come on down!!!

**slick** · 03-25-2006, 03:16 PM

How does one know if he/she is in trouble?

I'm concerned about a co-worker of mine.

**CathyBogart** · 03-25-2006, 04:00 PM

I am not an alcoholic, but I have a genetic predisposition and I suspect that if I let my guard down I would become an alcoholic very quickly, so I don't let it down where alcohol is concerned. I can sense it any time I have even a glass of wine, I crave alcoholic stuff every day for a week afterwards.

On the plus side, babysitting my friends at parties is entertaining.

My dad just got sober after ~20 years. I should be supportive and proud of him, but I'm still angry about all the garbage he put my family through for those twenty years, so I just stay away.

**RedHedd** · 03-25-2006, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by CathyBogart

I am not an alcoholic, but I have a genetic predisposition and I suspect that if I let my guard down I would become an alcoholic very quickly, so I don't let it down where alcohol is concerned. I can sense it any time I have even a glass of wine, I crave alcoholic stuff every day for a week afterwards.

On the plus side, babysitting my friends at parties is entertaining.

My dad just got sober after ~20 years. I should be supportive and proud of him, but I'm still angry about all the garbage he put my family through for those twenty years, so I just stay away.

Perhaps Al-Anon could help with some of those feelings. It's a wonderful 12-Step sister-program to AA for those who are related to, living with or love someone who's struggling with their drinking.

**Karen** · 03-25-2006, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by CathyBogart

On the plus side, babysitting my friends at parties is entertaining.

It's funny, I don't drink alcohol, just decided not to when I was a in college, and I remember much more than a lot of people do as a result.

Last year I got together with a friend, Jane, whom I hadn't seen since our wedding, the summer after she and graduated college together. I told her a little story about herself from one of the parties Paul's housemates had, and instead of chuckling, she said "Oh, no - someone ELSE I have to apologize to." She explained she's been "dry" for a number of years - maybe 5, and that she thought she'd gotten through her list of people she'd hurt or offended. I assured her that no apology was necessary, Paul was not hurt OR offended, nor was I.

**Catty1** · 03-25-2006, 06:33 PM

What some professionals have said - and AA is strictly NON professional - is that drinking is a form of self-medicating. It DOES work, sort of - until the booze starts to backfire and wreck our lives and others'.

Now, there are arguments pro and con, but go to page 133 of the "Big Book" (real title Alcoholics Anonymous) and read from: "Now about health..." through to "...his case afterwards."

I am finally on the right meds for my lifelong depression, and am gaining in confidence every day. Having this physical balance back gives me the energy to work my program, and become a responsible member of my community. And no, I do not want a drink. The miracle is still with me on a daily basis.

It is not a magic bullet - nothing is.

But this is just my story; in AA and life I can only speak for myself.

And yes, RedHedd - please check out Al-Anon. It's a family disease, and everyone gets the symptoms of alcoholism, whether they drink or not. You deserve healing too!

**Catty1** · 03-25-2006, 06:35 PM

Karen - you are an example of what some AA's call "normal" or an "earthling".

How can you just not want to drink? That's plain WEIRD! LOL

I am teasing you, I hope you know!

Catty1

**Karen** · 03-25-2006, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by Catty1

Karen - you are an example of what some AA's call "normal" or an "earthling".

How can you just not want to drink? That's plain WEIRD! LOL

I am teasing you, I hope you know!

Catty1

I was often teased for it, but I knew too many people whose lives had been affected negatively by alcohol. I never wanted to take that chance. My great-grandfather was an alcoholic, which completely colored my grandmother's life and her siblings as well. A friend of mine was her class valedictorian because she felt she had to prove to the world a child of a drunk could do it. It wasn't a happy thing for her.

Trust me, going to an arts college, I was completely the odd one out in not drinking. But none of my classmates died or killed anyone else while driving drunk - as I was the self-appointed "designated driver" for our department. There was a lot of cajolling, and teasing, but they all also respected the fact that is was my decision. Funny enough, the person who tried hardest to get me to "just try "whatever" drink, I'm sure you'll like it" was the adult child of an alcoholic. And the person who finally one day told her off quite forcibly on my behalf, was the one person who ended up in a rehab program not long after college.

**Catty1** · 03-25-2006, 07:46 PM

Yes, I agree Karen - adult children often become control freaks, determined to control their own lives after living in an uncontrollable situation. But there's nowhere there to learn how to live healthily.

Like the gal you mentioned who had to PROVE she could...that is a sad, joyless life.

And I hear not a few people in AA who SWORE they would never drink like mom or dad - and they are! Alcoholism is an inherited illness. And they had good teachers to boot!

It's a horrid illness for everyone touched by the drinker.

**Laura's Babies** · 03-25-2006, 04:08 PM

I am not a alcoholic myself but I was the child of alcoholic parents. Both Mamma and Daddy were daily drinkers, my step Dad was a binge drinker.

I have had and still have non drinking alcoholic friends that I really admire for having beat the habit and stuck with it. I admire how faithful they are to AA, YEARS after they have quit so those of you who have really gone long term really have my complete admiration!

I want to comment that some of you have mentioned depression with drinking. I always felt my Mama drank BECAUSE of depression. Am I wrong in that way of thinking? Her Mother died when she was a little girl and I think she never got over the feeling of abandonment, went into depression and drank when she grew up because of the depression. Mama was always so sad and angry, she hid it real good but it was always there.

**RedHedd** · 03-25-2006, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by slick

How does one know if he/she is in trouble?

I'm concerned about a co-worker of mine.

The way the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous describes it is how: An alcoholic is someone who has lost the ability to control their drinking.

Not being able to stop after taking the first drink. The book goes on to describe the phenomenon of craving that the first drink sets up in an alcoholic's body. Once alcohol is in the body, the body craves more. It's never sated and can lead to insanity or even death.

Many of us tried to control and enjoy our drinking, but for an alkie like me, if I'm controlling it, I'm not enjoying it and if I'm enjoying it, I'm certainly not controlling it.