Oh Denise, What a brave thing to admit this here on the forum!! This is a big, even the biggest step to healing!! I have great respect for this!
My advise : try to find an AA- club or a person from whom you know he/she attends AA-meetings. AA is very good! They never attack you, they LISTEN,and help you all the way they can! I have 2 brothers-in-law who were heavy drinkers. The first one drank stuff like whiskey during at least 10 years. The other one was a heavy beer drinker. Always drunk! They both joined AA years ago now; they have been sober ever since!! I won't tell you it will be easy, but if you really want to do something about it, it WILL work, I promise!!
If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me