At Wits End

**Lizzie** · 03-22-2006, 11:06 PM

Originally Posted by K & L

Sad part is every evening when I go to bed she runs in there and sleeps above my head. She makes it difficult to just toss her aside.

That's the killer, isn't it? She's tame, she's been rejected, she needs you. I have been in your type of situation a few times with a cat that gave the others a very hard time, sprayed, was intensely possessive, and that obviously needed contact with me. I tried to make one an outdoor cat but he ended up getting beaten up. I tried isolation, but that's a grim scenario. I ended up with a kind of semi-isolation, pretty much as you seem to be doing now, and the other cats had to cope. Two lived in a narrow hall cupboard for years to escape the predatory one. Both problem cats needed to be only cats with adoring owners, but, like you, I knew there was no home that would keep them and I didn't trust anyone to return them to me for sure if there were problems. I was afraid they'd just "get rid of them" rather than bring them back. I philosophized that we all have to cope with bad situations at times, working with people we loathe, living with relatives that drive us mad, dealing with children that seem alien for a time. It didn't really help, I don't think anything did. We all simply lived with the bad situations for years.

I think all we can do to help is commiserate with you.

**krazyaboutkatz** · 03-23-2006, 01:36 AM

Lisa, I'm sorry to hear that you're still having problems.

I hope that you'll be able to find a solution to your problem. Good luck and please keep us posted.

**Catsnclay** · 03-23-2006, 01:12 PM

Lisa-
Did you ever stop to think that maybe Leila WANTS to be an only child? She may just stop all her bad habits once she becomes the only cat.

Is there someone at work that you know that will take her on at test/possible keep type basis?

We know that she is a loving kitty (runs to sleep with you) but she just might be the type of cat that doesn't get along with ANY cat or animal.

I would try re-homeing her before putting her out. I too will look around for you, but you already know my connections

**K & L** · 03-23-2006, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by Catsnclay

Lisa-
Did you ever stop to think that maybe Leila WANTS to be an only child? She may just stop all her bad habits once she becomes the only cat.

Is there someone at work that you know that will take her on at test/possible keep type basis?

We know that she is a loving kitty (runs to sleep with you) but she just might be the type of cat that doesn't get along with ANY cat or animal.

I would try re-homeing her before putting her out. I too will look around for you, but you already know my connections

I do wish I knew of someone, but you know how we've depleted about everyone we know that wants/needs a cat. I really believe Leila had these problems before and that's why she was dumped. I'm sure we'll get something figured out, let's just hope it's before I lose it!

**bleupurrs** · 03-23-2006, 01:21 PM

I agree with Catty1, it sounds as tho' Leila needs to be the only cat in the household.

I once took in a beautiful girl named Dandilion, she was living in a mobile home with 3 dogs and a baby.
Dandi never adjusted to being in my home with 3 other cats, there were constant fights and peeing on the stairs and other issues.
My daughter had a friend at college who needed a companion, and she fell in love with Dandi and they lived together in peace and harmony for many, many years.

**K & L** · 03-23-2006, 02:13 PM

I will try and get a video of how Leila acts and post it here. The spraying and not getting along with the other cats is only part of her problem. Leila has a mean side to her even when things are going her way. Last night she bit into Kevin when he just reached over to pet her. Not a playful bite, but a leave me alone or there'll be more where this came from, bite. She has attached herself to me, and even with that will attack me when she gets in the mood. There have been times when I just walked by her and she lept up and swatted me. Sometimes she'll growl when you try and pet her. Even if she was an only cat she would have to have an owner that would accept and tolerate her moody disposition. This is not always easy to find. She has a personality problem and I hate giving up on her, but it's becoming stressful for all.

**Lizzie** · 03-23-2006, 02:19 PM

If she sleeps on your head at night and indulges in unprovoked attacks, aren't you concerned about being hurt while you are asleep? We all move around in our sleep; I hope she never sees this as a "space invasion". Have you considered behavior modification medication?

**K & L** · 03-23-2006, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by Lizzie

If she sleeps on your head at night and indulges in unprovoked attacks, aren't you concerned about being hurt while you are asleep? We all move around in our sleep; I hope she never sees this as a "space invasion". Have you considered behavior modification medication?

You know as strange as it sounds, I'm not afraid of her. I've dealt with far more scary ferals than this.

Medication is my next step. I'm going to talk to our vet and see what he recommends.

**catland** · 03-23-2006, 03:11 PM

I'm so sorry that things aren't going well. You have done so much for so many kitties that this must be tough.

All I can do is share some of my observations about my guy Strauss, the cat that came to live with us last year when his human died.

I think that a lot of Strauss's behaviour was based on insecurity. His old home and old life was gone, and now he was thrown into a house with three kitties and two humans instead of one kitty and one human.

So we've given him lots of attention. He has his own couch in a back room and his own food dish. When he and Sid get in a mood and both insist on hanging out with us in the living room, we put up visual barriers so that they don't have to look at each other.

He used to swat at me when I'd reach down to pet him. I've found that he's much more receptive if I sit down next to him first, so he doesn't just see this hand thing coming down from the sky to attack him.

OK - some may object to this strategy, but we've also fattened him up a bit by giving him canned food whenever he wanted. Our theory is he's full and happy, and maybe now he'll be a little slower than when he was lean. Don't worry, he's not obese, but he is a little rounder in the belly now.

But we also have a zero tollerence policy regarding bad behavior - which consist of 10 minute "time-outs", locked away in a back room.

Hope this helps.