Assisted living sounds like a possible alternative for both couples.

At least around here, there are facilities that offer support and some medical care for couples. They get a kind of apartment, but in a facility where there are nurses and doctors on staff. If the couple cannot afford it, often they can receive government assistance. Our city has an excellent Elder Care program, with people who help the elderly, and know the ins and outs of all sorts of programs, both government and private. If an elder has no family member to do so, I believe they can even act as a patient advocate.

If there is no one who knows about these programs to help, a search could be made in the area for support groups for caregivers, often at or run by either a faith community or a local hospital. Members of the community - their church or neighbors or nearby friends could also be enlisted to give the caregivers some "down time" a few times a week. Just having a few hours where you can rest without being responsible for anyone else is often a sanity-saver.

In the old days, extended families were responsible for elders' care. These days, with families so widespread, that often cannot happen, so the rest of the community needs to step in. Just as it "takes a village to raise a child," it can take a community to care for the elderly.

Yes, I have had much more experience and conversation around these issues than most people my age, but that's the price one pays for loving people.