I have had a miserable day today. It started when I opened up "Cat of the Day" first thing and read about George wearing fake antlers. So that image has been in my head all day - a cat with antlers, reindeer antlers, which for all the world are like caribou antlers and so I see George, adorned in antlers, running wild across the tundra. I hear his hooves splashing through the shallow water all about, but since they are not hooves, but rather paws, the sound is not that splash one normally associates with caribou running across the boggy tundra, but is one of water being sliced.
Now, absurd as the above is, it certainly is not enough to make one's day miserable, but soon I hear another sound accompanying the slicing of George's paws. This is the screaming whine of a billion mosquitoes, swarming about George and suddenly I understand why he runs so fast through the puddled waters! Then the mosquitoes are on me, biting, sucking blood - MY blood - and George's blood. Soon we are running, fleeing, side by side, splashing over the tundra.
I am slapping, cursing, pulling down gobs of mosquitoes with each swipe of the hand.
Suddenly, I hear a siren. I look in the rearview mirror and see the flashing lights of the Alaska State Troopers. I pull over.
The trooper struts, macho-like, to the window. I roll it down. She looks at me curiously. "Are you all right, bud? You were driving a little erraticly, slapping yourself and all. Perhaps I should arrest you?"
"No!" I scream. "It's George, the cat! He's got antlers and the mosquitoes are sucking us dry!"
She lets me go with a warning, but the day stays miserable.
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