Jo, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this. The only thing I can add is that I believe Monte will calm down as he ages, but I know that's not much help. I remember when Tubby was young and I first brought Peanut home. He wasn't necessarily stalking her, but I was constantly yelling at him to leave her alone. Every single time they got in a scrap, I yelled at Tubby. He was bigger, older and more aggressive, so he took the heat. Until.....one day I saw Peanut teasing and toying with him, then go after him! After that Tubby still took most of the heat, but every now and then I'd yell at Peanut - or both of them. After many years, as they both got older, things calmed down considerably.

I know this isn't any consolation and doesn't help you now, but I thought it might give you just a ray of hope.