Should I or Shouldn't I???

[Karen]

Donna, they may be the final physical connection you have to your Dad, but you know that you dad is part of you, and always will be, no matter what. That's how parenthood works, for better or worse.

Deciding if you'd feel better or worse without Tigg's ashes around, but knowing he and your dad are resting together - I am afraid we cannot help you decide that, only your own heart can.

[Lizzie]

Donna - I didn't realilze you knew Tiggs so well and of course that makes it much more complicated and harder, that and the connection with your father.

The reason I choose to bury ashes under a tree or shrub is because I think of the cat's body being incorporated into something living that I see every day. Shahdee is a Rose of Sharon. Roo is a Philadephus (mock orange) "Albatre". Sam is a Western Red Cedar. However, I can only do this when I feel ready. I kept Roo's for years before I knew it was time to put them under a shrub I was planting. Shahdee's were buried very quickly because she was a very free spirit and wild at heart. It felt wrong to keep her ashes in a box.

I know that keeping the ashes can be very important. My Artful Dodger's are in the bedroom, the box covered in dried rose petals, and it will be a while before I can bear to even move them to the bookcase in the living room. I hope that the ones I've kept can be buried under a tree with mine, when that time comes. I can't imagine putting any of them in the ground, and Thisbe has been dead for 12 years.

Whenever I've hesitated about what to do with the ashes, I've stepped away from the decision and given myself more time. Perhaps you shoulnd't keep trying to make this decision but wait until it comes to you.

[moosmom]

I guess I need to give it more time. Maybe in the Spring when the weather is warmer/nicer. But, maybe not at all, because I tried to get the little box open and I sealed that thing up tight. Tiggs just may be with me forever!!!

Thanks for all your kinds words and advice. It made me feel a whole lot better.

[jackie]

((((Hugs))))

And happy belated birthday!

[moosmom]

Thanks Jackie!! Believe me, it was VERY uneventful.

[K9karen]

Oops..Happy Belated Birthday. I was so self absorbed the last few days, I forgot to check the birthdays, so I'm so sorry that I didn't drop you a line, uneventful or not- it's STILL your day,Think about the ashes before making a rash decision, if you're so unsure. I agree, waiting for spring may be a better idea, since winter can be so dark and depressing. I've told everyone I care about, plus have it in writing that all my pets ashes are to be buried with me, with their tags and pictures. It's just the way I feel and I don't are if anyone thinks I'm nuts.

[moosmom]

K9Karen,

What a great idea having your pets ashes buried with you. I also have very specific instructions in my will about my cats. And you're right, winter DOES have a depressing effect on people (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Now I know why bears hybernate.