In depair but I know I can confide in PT

[catnapper]

Trust me, I'm in the same boat.... for all purposes, I feel like the kids are my own, but when times get rough, I am reminded that I am a steparent.... even if its not said, its there. I can see my hubby doing the same as yours. Stepparenting is HARD! Then we see the kids for what they are, while their "real" parents still have blinders on.

[Edwina's Secretary]

My brother and his wife very much wanted a child. They were very fortunate that some woman was brave enough to give her child the best chance at a good life.

My niece has grown up with animals....dogs, cats, horses (her parents are veternarians) a good education, extracurricular activities, travel...and very loving and attentive parents.

I do not understand people who say...."I could not let my grandchild be raised by someone else." I once heard this from a man whose adopted daughter was pregnant. How could he deny someone else the opportunity he had had? In my brother's case, the grandparents almost derailed the adoption after nearly a year.

Please encourage your step-daughter to pursue adoption. With open adoptions today, if she wants to stay in touch with the child it can be done.

What a wonderful gift to give her child!

[Cataholic]

Please, please, please help her see that adoption is the most loving choice she could give this baby.

As for cutting her off? I don't think I could handle that. The baby is the one that truly suffers.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

My brother and his wife very much wanted a child. They were very fortunate that some woman was brave enough to give her child the best chance at a good life.

My niece has grown up with animals....dogs, cats, horses (her parents are veternarians) a good education, extracurricular activities, travel...and very loving and attentive parents.

I do not understand people who say...."I could not let my grandchild be raised by someone else." I once heard this from a man whose adopted daughter was pregnant. How could he deny someone else the opportunity he had had? In my brother's case, the grandparents almost derailed the adoption after nearly a year.

Please encourage your step-daughter to pursue adoption. With open adoptions today, if she wants to stay in touch with the child it can be done.

What a wonderful gift to give her child!

I couldn't have said it better.

As someone who
(1) was adopted as a baby and
(2) had problems trying to conceive

I am VERY aware of how adoption can positively impact so many lives. As others have said, adoption gives couples who dearly want children, and can provide the best for them, the opportunity to do so. It also means that one less child will be brought up in less-than-ideal circumstances.

Karen gave a good suggestion re telling anyone who asks that she is acting as a surrogate mother (after all taking her financial position into account people would probably believe her).

As a Step-mom I can also sympathise with the pressure you are under - there are times when I get accused of being too hard or judgemental, when all I really want is the best for everyone involved - it's not easy!

[jojo]

Again, I can't help much but hope that you all can find the positive in this. I hope for the childrens sake that your daughter finds the strength to change, because in the end that is all it is about, she finds it easier to not make the hard decisions and continue on in her security blanket of what she already knows. I want desparately for this to happen for the childrens sake, I believe that to be the truest form of love and commitment to them, I don't like the idea they be sent off because mother isn't the best, if you understand me. Those poor babies.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Being a mom to 2 adopted kids, I can only advize this: ADOPTION !!! That little baby deserves a happy loving family ! By giving it the chance of being adopted, is giving it the absolute chance of being happy!!!

[catnapper]

How is everything going?

I asked hubby what he would do if either of our girls were in this situation.... and he's saying the same thing your hubby is: He's her dad and whatever she did, he'd help her through. He went so far as to say he'd officially adopt the baby to save her from the mother. But really, how much help is it? She's still not getting the proper help she needs.

I am so sorry that you're stuck in the middle like this.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

He went so far as to say he'd officially adopt the baby to save her from the mother.

Hope this doesn't sound heartless but there is no way I'd even consider that. I don't want any more children and am certainly not going to give up my "freedom" because it wouldn't be her Dad looking after baby.....it would be down to me