In depair but I know I can confide in PT

[prechrswife]

As someone who is in the process of adopting, this hits very close to home for me. There are so many couples out there who want to be parents, who are ready to be parents, yet they are physically unable to do so. If you could find someone in this position for her to talk with, maybe that would make the decision easier.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

This may sound harsh but the tricky bit will be getting her to stop thinking of herself and how much she'll suffer and to get her to consider what would be best for the baby and the two she's already got. She's a great one for sitting around bemoaning how hard her life is and how tough things are - getting her to see that its no-one's fault but her own won't be simple.

Thanks for letting me offload to you all - not a pleasant topic I know

[JenBKR]

Well, that won't be easy. Is she still with the father of the current baby?

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Well, that won't be easy. Is she still with the father of the current baby?

No - she has decided she doesn't want anything to do with him as he is a total waster (!) - something she already knew when she threw him out just over a year ago (!!) and I wish she'd remembered 10 weeks ago

[JenBKR]

No - she has decided she doesn't want anything to do with him as he is a total waster (!) - something she already knew when she threw him out just over a year ago (!!) and I wish she'd remembered 10 weeks ago

It's probably a good thing that they're not together anymore. Maybe this can be her 'wake-up' call. I certainly can't imagine being in her situation. She must be so scared. Would it be possible to get her involved with a church or anything? That may help.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Maybe this can be her 'wake-up' call.

How many more does she need? This will be #5 by my reckoning.......

As for church I don't think she'd consider it - very cynical about religion

[JenBKR]

How many more does she need? This will be #5 by my reckoning.......

Wow, when you put it that way... you must be pretty frustrated with her situation (I know I would be). I'm not even sure what you can do, she needs to decide to make the change on her own.

[jojo]

Such a difficult thing to watch and feel powerless. But maybe this is the way it's supposed to be. Is she a good mother... whatever her choice in partners are? I reckon there isn't enough children in our world any maybe this is something good in disguise. Sounds silly, I know but you could be the step mum to the next genius of the world. I hope things work out ok, and your step girl realizes that she is going to be the most influential person in her children's life. Maybe she'll recognize she needs to make self respecting changes.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=100053