How did you feel when you 'moved out'?

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

I didn't think it was scary... but I didn't have to worry about leaving town or anything. We moved about 10 minutes away from my mom's house.

Don't think about it as you are ending a chapter but beginning a new one. Think about how much fun it is going to be when you visit your mom and family on the holidays... and how much more exciting your chats will be when you are telling her about your experiences being married and taking care of yourself. You will miss her though... and probably make late night calls.... but those will be special to her.

She will be so proud of you...


Just try and look at all the positive things ahead and don't look at the negative.....

[Samantha Puppy]

It's weird. Not good, not bad, just different. And almost 2 years later, I still sometimes slip and refer to my parents' house as "home" (especially when I'm mad at Josh). I agree, don't look at is as closing a chapter but rather, just entering a new one.

[Cataholic]

I think for alot of us, it is different than it is for you. Many of us on here probably went more transitionally. I mean, I went to college first, and left for stretches of time- semesters. Then, in the summer, I returned home. So, it wasn't like, "I live here one day, I don't the next". So, by the time I left 'for good', I was 23, and it was 2600 miles away. It was shocking, for a bit, but, then, it was nice. But, again, for alot of us, we had been 'out and about' for sometime.

Then, I moved back home! At 29, for law school. And, when I moved back out, into my first home, it was nice. Now? I live ten minutes from my mom, and see her most everyday, talk alot to her, etc.

I see it as a step in the maturation process, I suppose.

[JenBKR]

It was bittersweet for me. I remember laying in bed the night before me wedding, thinking about how it was the last night there, and feeling so sad about that. But I was also so excited to start my new life with my husband. It was easier for me too because I only moved 15 minutes away. I loved living at my parents house, and we;ve always been very close. I even commuted to college because I just wasn't ready to leave.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Feeling sad when you think about your mom missing you is only natural, and trust me, you will miss those talks to. But even if you move far away, there is still the internet, and a little more old fashioned - the telephone, and from prehistoric times - writing letters, notes and cards. I've been away from home for over 20 years now and I still miss my mom, but we talk regularly and visit as often as possible. Parents also learn to live without their children. They start persuing lives of their own - until the grandkids come.

But really, it will be hard, it will be a period of transition, you will get home sick, but you wil survive, and so will your parents.

The hardest part for me is not being there for my parents when they need me. For example, when they had their heart attacks and their accident. It was SO hard for me to be here in Chicago - 3 hours away. All I could think about was what they were going through and event though there really wasn't much I could have done had I been there, at least I would have felt better just being there. I worry as they get older about who will be there to take them to the doctor when they can't drive anymore and stuff like that. But hopefully your parents are still young enough that you don't have to worry about any of this for a long time yet.

It's natural to be scared and think about all this, and it will be hard the day you actually leave, but you have to stay focused on your new life and what you're gaining in life, not losing, because you're really not losing your family, you're just moving out of their house.

Trust me, Pops, you'll do just fine.

[catnapper]

I couldn't wait to start my own life. I did miss my mom and all the little things we did.... it wasn't until I was an hour away in my own home that I realized just how much fun we had together and I missed all our little trips to Walmart and such. But we talk every day and she comes up to visit me as often as she can.

You'll find out that being married is the greatest adventure and your family will always be just a phone call away no matter if you're a block away or a 1,000 miles away.

[slick]

I met this guy at the age of 22 and we dated for two years then decided to live together. Here I was, a 24 yr old and her BF sitting on the couch talking to my Mom and Dad about "living in sin." I was/still am Daddy's baby and no man would ever be good enough. My Dad took it hard but my Mom was very honest about it. My Dad made me phone him everyday for the first month.

As for me?? I was scared to death. Al and I were really in love and I was very excited about starting a new life with him. My situation was different though. Both of our families lived within a 30 min. drive so we could see both sides often. That really helped alot and they could all see that Al and I were very happy together. Sadly, we only lasted 12 yrs and fell apart in 1987.

Embrace your new life Pops. Wherever your new home is, it will be surrounded with the love from your parents that you carry with you. Since you've never lived on your own previously, this will definitely be a learning experience for you and yes, you will flounder now and then...but just remember.....if you put eggs on to boil, watch them carefully otherwise they might explode.

Oh yes one other thing....make sure you sign up for a cheap long distance plan.

Good luck!

[Logan]

That question made me think, a lot. I think I was ready to be on my own, PCB. I left for college, but I definitely had my moments of being homesick for my mom and dad. I had no car and had to rely on friends to get me home for visits with my parents. I think that by the time I graduated from college and went out on my own, I was ready.

But, your situation is a little different, like Johanna said. And remember, at 30 years old, I moved back in with my parents and my brother (who was a senior in high school), with my 2 year old daughter, for a short time. They became my "husband" for many years, and I still think that my mom is resentful of my new life, further away from her, and so full of activity that it keeps me from being with them more often.

You're going to be fine. Just keep those lines of communication open. The telephone is not the total answer, but it helps.

Logan