My whole life is falling apart

[kuhio98]

I am so sorry that during this emotional time, he felt the need to give you this piece of news. I'm sorry, but it sounds very selfish to me for him to unload this secret he's been carrying right now when you are pregnant. But, maybe there is no good time to get this news. I'm not bashing your parents at all. We are all human and make mistakes. YOU are not a mistake. Your biology doesn't change who you are. Have a long talk with your Mom as soon as possible. Not knowing makes it seem bigger than it actually is. Not to make this about me, but I want to tell you some family history.

All my life, I was told that my grandmother was Cherokee. As a kid, I'd ask her stories about the Cherokee and she was pretty sketchy on details. I studied American Indians in school and was so proud when I told everyone that I was part Cherokee. My grandma passed away at the ripe old age of 92. I went to her funeral and walked the cemetary with my older cousins. I wondered aloud about where our Cherokee relatives were buried. They burst out laughing and told me that grandma wasn't Cherokee, she was African American! She had spent her whole life lying about her heritage and pretending to be something she wasn't. That's a sad way to live. When I told my sister this news she said it changed everything. She said she didn't know who she was anymore. I laughed and told her that it changed nothing. We are the same people we were the day before we found this out. We're still the same silly, goofy, flawed human beings we were before. Nothing had changed.

You haven't changed either. You are still the same loving, sensitive person you've always been. What your parents did or did not do is of no consequence. You haven't changed a bit.

I hope that after you talk to your Mom, you will realize that things happen in life. You can either let them break you or you can learn to roll with the punches. Stay true to yourself. This is a very emotional time for you. I've never been pregnant but I've seen how my friends have been so emotional during their pregnancies. Now is not the time to make life altering decisions. There is plenty of time for that. Rest and relax. Let you Mom bring you over some dinner and sit around and have a good talk.

I hope you feel better soon and realize that this isn't really a bombshell even though it might feel like it right now.

[prechrswife]

I think others here have said things better than I could, but you are in my prayers. Take care of yourself and that precious baby. (((((Hugs)))))