My whole life is falling apart

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

I am so sorry that your dad is making this harder on you, but it sounds like he's doing what he thinks needs to be done. Maybe he's been so hard on you in the past because this little family secret has been burning him up. Now you know exactly why he and your stepmom have been so venomous towards your mom.... now that everyone knows, and everyone can move on.

That is one thing that makes this so painful. My dad or stepmom are far from angels. My dad was an alcoholic that cheated on my mom numerous times - even with my stepmom. I really can't stand her sometimes for some of the ways she acts like my mom is a bad person. I can't say my mom was justified for what she did - and I can't blame her either.

My dad tells me each and every way my mom went wrong - never admitting his own mistakes. Sometimes I think he does it so I will like/love him more. But this time I fell he went too far. He really hurt me this time - i feel he had no business telling me what he did. There is nothing anyone can do about it now.... and no one will benifit from him telling me...... I am so angry.


But... thanks again everyone for your kind words and hugs - I didn't think it would make me feel better to talk about it .... but it has. You guys are the best!!!!!

[NoahsMommy]

He really hurt me this time - i feel he had no business telling me what he did. There is nothing anyone can do about it now.... and no one will benifit from him telling me...... I am so angry.

Sara,

I'm glad you realize this. What he did was hateful. There wasn't going to be ANYTHING good from this comment to you...nothing.

I wish I could come over and give you a huge hug right now, sweetie!!!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Sara, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time right now. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers and things will get better. Please take care and feel free to pm me. (((((HUGS)))))

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

I talked to my mom yesterday and she told me that my dad is actually not my "biological dad". She wanted to give me an explination of what happened but I really don't need to know.

I feel better now that I know. Yesterday was just torture sitting around thinking about it and not really knowing.

I feel like this is all a dream though. I got A LOT of thoughts going through my head now. Bad ones and good ones. BUT i'm not crying today and that feels good. I would give ANYTHING to rewind time and my dad not tell me that though. I know for sure I would have been just fine living the rest of my life not knowing.

Thanks everyone for your support and *hugs*hugs*hugs*!!!
You guys helped more than you probably know.

[Pam]

Sara, I'm glad you are feeling better today and very glad that your mom has chosen to tell you the truth. I would hear her out. I know this must have been a terrible secret for her to keep all of these years and I think it will provide tremendous healing for both of you to understand it as well as is possible. Of course the pain of the lie will last long after all of this is over, but it is not something that you won't be able to rise above. As someone else mentioned, knowing the medical history of your real father will be more important now that you have a little one on the way.

A good friend of mine was told, at the age of 21, that she was adopted. I know it is not quite the same thing but I watched her dissolve into tears because of the loss of trust in her parents. Concentrate on that new little one growing inside you. The love that will come at his/her birth will be overwhelming and all-consuming and totally blot out all of this pain. I promise. I am still praying for you!

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I'm glad you talked to your mom and I'm doubly glad that she is so willing to be honest and open about what happened. At least you know that she is willing to share. For now it might be enough to just know, but as time goes on, you may want to know more details and it's good to know that she is willing to not hide anything anymore.

I can only imagine what a shock this must all be to you. However, no one is going anywhere so you have plenty of time to process it all and take your time in absorbing what this is all ultimately going to mean in your life.

I hope and pray that your baby is so healthy that knowing your bioligical history is never necessary.

I'm so glad you're feeling better. {{{hugs}}}

[RobiLee]

Sara, I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm not good at knowing what to say but I just wanted to let you know that I care and I hope that you will be ok. You have lots of support hear and I hope that you will remember that. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong, Sara.