Kelly would like some advice and prayers too

[wolflady]

In California there IS the Board of Medical Quality Assurance (BMQA). I believe they are in Sacramento .... I'll Google it for you. I used to work in a medical malpractice law firm, and BMQA is where all medical based lawsuits have to start - with a claim to them.

Being a cancer survivor I can only commiserate as there are some real incompetents working in a profession that's dealing with human beings in pain and some of them are not the most, er, um talented? tactful? skilled? Heck, all of the above.

EDIT: Here ya go: http://www.medbd.ca.gov/

Wow, thanks for posting this RedHedd, and thanks also to everyone here who have voiced their support and advice. I agree, I think Kelly needs to speak directly with the doctor about her treatment by the office manager, and if that doesn't yield results, then perhaps contacting the BMQA would be the next step.

I did speak with Kelly yesterday (to read her the responses here), and she sounded better than she had when she requested me to post her story and ask for advice here on PT. I just love her, and hope things turn around real soon for her.

Gary, I know your parcel will cheer Kelly up

**hugs**

[lbaker]

OK, this suggestion may take more patience (no pun intended) then you feel ready to give right now Kelly BUT, perhaps you could suggest to your doctor that you, he and the Queen B meet together. You could ask if perhaps she needs a better understanding of Crohn's and the physical and mental distress it can cause. If your doctor (and maybe Ms Attitutde) believe you are trying to work together it would probably strengthen your case that if problems with her continue - it's definately HER that has the attitude problem, not you. I'm sending love and wishes for better days for you.
Laurie

[sirrahbed]

This is so very frustrating to read about - very sad that Kelly has to endure this...here are my thoughts and advice.

I am a RN and recall the things we deal with as health care providers.....we all know that there are drug abusers and seekers and we have to be aware of this and the potential for these patients to become addicted by some medications. It is hard to know what is right. Fentanyl patches provide continual doses of pain medication for severe pain and are often used as a last resort for patients who are terminal (such as cancer patients in their end stages) But, since the doctor is a Pain specialist, he likely prescribes them for a variety of patients. Crohn's is probably one of these instances.

I am also a Migraine sufferer. Something I have learned from my migraine forum is that pain specialists (such as the Diamond Clinic) aim to use continual pain medications sparingly and try to give the least possible amount of pain medication and apply other forms of pain control. That is...a Pain Specialist does not necessarily use addictive medications more that other specialists. Nevertheless, it is up to the doctor to determine what his patient needs - not his nurses or office staff!

My Neurologist aims to prevent pain first and foremost but sometimes I need narcotics to abort the migraines. Most of my past Neurologists gave me a small quantity of narcotics to use only when I need them......but I have encountered Neurologists over the years who feel that narcotics should only be administered in the ER. I absolutely dread having to ask for refills, wait until I am in severe pain and to the point where I feel as I am groveling and begging as a real drug seeker will do.....when I tend to be extremely cautious about using my pain meds.

The entry in Kelly's LJ about going two days with NO patch suggests that she is not just trying to stay medicated. She has a painful disease and often NEEDS pain control just to live her life and go to work each day. A woman on the office staff is not qualified to suggest that Kelly is "using too much medication!" The problem is not that Kelly does not work well because she is taking pain medication, she misses work when the pain is too disabling. So taking the medications she needs allows her to function better and be able to go to work, right? The doctor's office wrote the prescription....so it appears that they knew she needed it. It is not Kelly's fault that the prescription was not written correctly!!

I HATE the way medical personnel can sometimes make me as a patient. I am reminded of my days working in a hospital and knowing that I also was taught to be very careful of "drug seekers". I may well have been one of those providers who caused a patient in severe pain to feel the way I now feel I hope not.... as a nurse I wanted to make my patients comfortable and tried to serve as an advocate for them. Now that I deal with doctors with myself as the patient - I have a better attitude. My best Neurologists have been one who had a wife with migraine, and my most recent provider is a migraine sufferer as well.

What I have tried to record are my feelings and observations from both sides....that said, I also feel that this office manager sounds out of line. An office manager is an adminstrative person correct??? What she has given Kelly is MEDICAL advice and this certainly sounds out of line. Kelly is obviously reacting as a person in pain and frustration and I feel that the doctor should be made aware of this behavior of his staff. Reading that the pharmacist also encountered uppity behavior from her is also disturbing.

I would suggest that Kelly schedule a meeting with this doctor and bring someone with her to be there as she explains the problem with the office manager. I really feel that he needs to know and having a second person present will help Kelly to feel less vulnerable, etc.

It is possible also that the doctor LIKES having this "guard dog" in his front office. If he does not seem to understand the way Kelly has been made to feel, then I would suggest finding a more understanding doctor. The danger in this, however, is that changing doctors also reflects on the patient and raises warnings about drug seeking behavior. I hope that talking to the doctor about his office manager will be helpful. It would be terrific if the pharmacist would support her but since he has to deal with this woman often, he may prefer to stay uninvolved

((((HUGS))))) to Kelly....I am so, so sorry that you are having to deal with people like this. Being in pain is frustrating enough and I can only imagine how disheartened she must feel

[wolflady]

Wow, sirrahbed, great post! You really hit the nail on the head here. I agree, a meeting with the doctor is just what needs to be done. I'm sure you're mom, or even Gini would be happy to go with you for support. These people have to be made to understand what is going on with this office manager and the fact that you need this medication just to live on any given day without pain.

**hugs**

[sirrahbed]

I keep thinking about Kelly and her stuation and have a few more thoughts...

Reading about the way Kelly felt before she realized she had been without her patch sounds so much like withdrawal. This feeling is something I have gone through myself and it is just terrible! I think it is probably the worst feeling I have ever had...worse than migraine, worse than childbirth...hard to describe! Withdrawal syndrome can also be very dangerous and may cause such things as seizures. I learned this my deciding to quit taking a medication I was on for the anxiety of PTSD. I landed in the ER with seizures

If Kelly does not have the medication she needs for pain or if the doctor feels she is indeed on too much medication....then he is also obligated to give her the support and medical care she needs to safely wean down from her pain control. That office manager could well be the cause of any reaction that Kelly faces as a result of not having her medication. It really bothers me to read about this. Oh how I hope she is able to be treated better and that this office manager will be properly dealt with. If Kelly DID have an adverse reaction to suddenly being denied pain medication - that woman could cause plenty of grief for the doctor. Surely he will realize this!!

[smokey the elder]

I'm so sorry that Kelly is going through such a difficulty. There is a stigma attached to those in pain in this country that is little short of barbaric.

[rg_girlca]

I am so sorry to hear that Kelly is going through such a terrible time with that witch. I hope she is able to talk to her doctor about it and get this situation settled once and for all.

Wolflady, here is a copy of a PM that I sent Kelly about 3 weeks ago that maybe you could relay to her since she doesn't have too much use of a computer.

Hi Kelly:

I just finished reading your thread, "I Miss You All" and reading something in my Woman's World today made me think of you. I wanted to send it here in case you missed it in the thread if I put it in there.
Her it is;
Looking for an understanding doctor?
Log on to www.aapainmanage.org to find a member of The American Academy of Pain Management, physicians devoted to treating pain.

I thought this might help you in case you needed to look elsewhere.

Take care
Lorraine

I know that Kelly likes her doctor, but thought she could keep this link in her file, for further use.

Prayers and positive thoughts on the way for our darling Kelly.