I love it. Besides the few punctuation errors it is really a good speech.

I do think that in the paragraph:
Pet stores should not sell pets, because the store owners are not responsible, they don’t care about them going to good homes just getting the money and if the puppies are too old to sell, then they either kill them, dump them, send them back, or on occasion send them to a rescue.
You could also add something about how the store owners do not care about the pups health & genetics either because they come from BYB's or puppy mills.

I know you explain about the BYB's & PM's in the end but I'd make it a point that the store owners don't care about that either.