Kelly would like some advice and prayers too

[Uabassoon]

I wish I had some advice but I really don't know much about how these things work.

It just makes me angry that someone would treat Kelly this way. For those of you that know her from online know what a sweet person she really is, but when you meet her in person you know right away that she is just the kindest soul you've ever met. Despite all her pain she smiles and laughs and makes everyone feel good.

I don't think it's right that people take out their own issues on nice people because they think they can get away with it. Hopefully something happens so this lady can learn that treating others that way is just plain wrong.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Kelly, I can't tell you how heart broken I am to hear this news. You've been through so much. Incompetence of doctor's staff members seems to be a common problem these days. I see it alot. The doctors seem to be okay but some employees don't have a clue. You have alot of pain so you need your meds. Someone like this that's building a false case against you would be horrible. In your case you simply can't afford to be without meds for any reason. Please try to make an appoinment with your doctor right away so this problem can be resolved. Be forceful if you have to. Be prepared to be very tough. Surely the doctor will understand the problem and clear it up quickly. If the doctor doesn't understand then find another doctor that will listen and understand your viewpoint. I wish you all the best Kelly. Please keep us updated. Thanks wolflady for posting this. (((((((GIANT HUGS))))))

[RedHedd]

There is no BBB for doctors but there is the AMA and a note to them might be inorder.

In California there IS the Board of Medical Quality Assurance (BMQA). I believe they are in Sacramento .... I'll Google it for you. I used to work in a medical malpractice law firm, and BMQA is where all medical based lawsuits have to start - with a claim to them.

Being a cancer survivor I can only commiserate as there are some real incompetents working in a profession that's dealing with human beings in pain and some of them are not the most, er, um talented? tactful? skilled? Heck, all of the above.

EDIT: Here ya go: http://www.medbd.ca.gov/

[slick]

No one deserves to be treated this way, least of all our dear Kelly. Sis, I'm so sorry that you did not get the respect you deserve. I don't know anything about the laws in the States, but it sounds like you've been given some good advice here.

Big {{{hugs}}} and mega prayers coming your way.

[luvofallhorses]

oh no. please tell Kelly she will be held close in my thoughts and prayers. She has been through so much and she doesn't deserve this crap. ((((Kelly))))

[gini]

Karen, thanks so much for posting this about Kelly. I haven't had much Pet Talk time so I almost missed it.

Our poor dear Kelly. I would certainly go right by the office manager and tell the Dr. what she is saying to her. The Office Manager isn't the DOCTOR and should not be making any comments of any kind about Kelly's prescription needs.

If the DOCTOR thought Kelly was on too much medication then HE would be telling Kelly that - not this lovely lady.

I just wish for once that things could go RIGHT for Kelly. No one seems to understand that Crohn's is a horrible and painful disease.

Karen, when you talk to her, please tell her I send my love.

[emily_the_spoiled]

What people are suggesting, to talk with the doctor, seems to be your only option regarding the office manager. I hope that makes a difference for you.

Regarding the pharmacy and the Fentyl. I can tell you that most pharmacies do not normally keep that drug in stock unless they have a large proportion of cancer patients. The drug has a very high street value and if you become known as keeping it on hand you are greatly increasing your chances of being robbed.

[catmandu]

The Found Cats have pooled thier allowances and have authorized me to send Kelly a small parcel with a Few Cat Toys,and a note for Kelly.
I know that its not much,and wont get there before PetMas,but I hope that it makes her feel better.
I hope that Kelly can get this Oaf straightened out,and have no problem getting the medicine that she needs.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Bless you sweet Gary! What a wonderful man you are

[kimlovescats]

Kelly, I pray that you will find a healthcare provider that will better manage and provide for your pain and suffering.

(hugs)
Kim

[wolflady]

In California there IS the Board of Medical Quality Assurance (BMQA). I believe they are in Sacramento .... I'll Google it for you. I used to work in a medical malpractice law firm, and BMQA is where all medical based lawsuits have to start - with a claim to them.

Being a cancer survivor I can only commiserate as there are some real incompetents working in a profession that's dealing with human beings in pain and some of them are not the most, er, um talented? tactful? skilled? Heck, all of the above.

EDIT: Here ya go: http://www.medbd.ca.gov/

Wow, thanks for posting this RedHedd, and thanks also to everyone here who have voiced their support and advice. I agree, I think Kelly needs to speak directly with the doctor about her treatment by the office manager, and if that doesn't yield results, then perhaps contacting the BMQA would be the next step.

I did speak with Kelly yesterday (to read her the responses here), and she sounded better than she had when she requested me to post her story and ask for advice here on PT. I just love her, and hope things turn around real soon for her.

Gary, I know your parcel will cheer Kelly up

**hugs**

[lbaker]

OK, this suggestion may take more patience (no pun intended) then you feel ready to give right now Kelly BUT, perhaps you could suggest to your doctor that you, he and the Queen B meet together. You could ask if perhaps she needs a better understanding of Crohn's and the physical and mental distress it can cause. If your doctor (and maybe Ms Attitutde) believe you are trying to work together it would probably strengthen your case that if problems with her continue - it's definately HER that has the attitude problem, not you. I'm sending love and wishes for better days for you.
Laurie

[sirrahbed]

This is so very frustrating to read about - very sad that Kelly has to endure this...here are my thoughts and advice.

I am a RN and recall the things we deal with as health care providers.....we all know that there are drug abusers and seekers and we have to be aware of this and the potential for these patients to become addicted by some medications. It is hard to know what is right. Fentanyl patches provide continual doses of pain medication for severe pain and are often used as a last resort for patients who are terminal (such as cancer patients in their end stages) But, since the doctor is a Pain specialist, he likely prescribes them for a variety of patients. Crohn's is probably one of these instances.

I am also a Migraine sufferer. Something I have learned from my migraine forum is that pain specialists (such as the Diamond Clinic) aim to use continual pain medications sparingly and try to give the least possible amount of pain medication and apply other forms of pain control. That is...a Pain Specialist does not necessarily use addictive medications more that other specialists. Nevertheless, it is up to the doctor to determine what his patient needs - not his nurses or office staff!

My Neurologist aims to prevent pain first and foremost but sometimes I need narcotics to abort the migraines. Most of my past Neurologists gave me a small quantity of narcotics to use only when I need them......but I have encountered Neurologists over the years who feel that narcotics should only be administered in the ER. I absolutely dread having to ask for refills, wait until I am in severe pain and to the point where I feel as I am groveling and begging as a real drug seeker will do.....when I tend to be extremely cautious about using my pain meds.

The entry in Kelly's LJ about going two days with NO patch suggests that she is not just trying to stay medicated. She has a painful disease and often NEEDS pain control just to live her life and go to work each day. A woman on the office staff is not qualified to suggest that Kelly is "using too much medication!" The problem is not that Kelly does not work well because she is taking pain medication, she misses work when the pain is too disabling. So taking the medications she needs allows her to function better and be able to go to work, right? The doctor's office wrote the prescription....so it appears that they knew she needed it. It is not Kelly's fault that the prescription was not written correctly!!

I HATE the way medical personnel can sometimes make me as a patient. I am reminded of my days working in a hospital and knowing that I also was taught to be very careful of "drug seekers". I may well have been one of those providers who caused a patient in severe pain to feel the way I now feel I hope not.... as a nurse I wanted to make my patients comfortable and tried to serve as an advocate for them. Now that I deal with doctors with myself as the patient - I have a better attitude. My best Neurologists have been one who had a wife with migraine, and my most recent provider is a migraine sufferer as well.

What I have tried to record are my feelings and observations from both sides....that said, I also feel that this office manager sounds out of line. An office manager is an adminstrative person correct??? What she has given Kelly is MEDICAL advice and this certainly sounds out of line. Kelly is obviously reacting as a person in pain and frustration and I feel that the doctor should be made aware of this behavior of his staff. Reading that the pharmacist also encountered uppity behavior from her is also disturbing.

I would suggest that Kelly schedule a meeting with this doctor and bring someone with her to be there as she explains the problem with the office manager. I really feel that he needs to know and having a second person present will help Kelly to feel less vulnerable, etc.

It is possible also that the doctor LIKES having this "guard dog" in his front office. If he does not seem to understand the way Kelly has been made to feel, then I would suggest finding a more understanding doctor. The danger in this, however, is that changing doctors also reflects on the patient and raises warnings about drug seeking behavior. I hope that talking to the doctor about his office manager will be helpful. It would be terrific if the pharmacist would support her but since he has to deal with this woman often, he may prefer to stay uninvolved

((((HUGS))))) to Kelly....I am so, so sorry that you are having to deal with people like this. Being in pain is frustrating enough and I can only imagine how disheartened she must feel

[wolflady]

Wow, sirrahbed, great post! You really hit the nail on the head here. I agree, a meeting with the doctor is just what needs to be done. I'm sure you're mom, or even Gini would be happy to go with you for support. These people have to be made to understand what is going on with this office manager and the fact that you need this medication just to live on any given day without pain.

**hugs**

[sasvermont]

There have to be some offices out there with nice staff. The staff is important too.

I suspect the office manager is oh too familiar with folks who take too many medications (pain killers) and has put Kelly in that category, thus the attitude.

Not knowing all the details.....as far as Kelly's relationship with her doctor, I would think Kelly would talk to the doctor, avoiding the staff altogether. I didn't know staff could order medications without having a doctor sign off on them.........maybe I am living under a rock.

Medications are regulated to a huge degree (and yet people get around it all the time) and the pharmacy can get their license revoked for giving out meds that are not properly ordered.

Kelly should go back to her Doctor for advice. I don't think we can help her here.