Quote Originally Posted by Sudilar
I am still having a problem dealing with Shiloh's death.

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I can't describe how I feel. I hurt so badly. This is the first time that I do not want another dog. I want SHILOH back and only her. I was NOT ready to lose her, she was too young (7 years old). To this day, I still can't even begin to get over her passing.

Sue, I think I understand your feelings. After my Bailey was gone, I was literally sick to my stomach with grief. My husband and friends were so worried about me, they encouraged me to get a puppy. I wasn't ready but I also wasn't able to make decisions for myself...I went through the days in a haze and went along with the *getting a puppy* idea a mere 40 days after losing Bailey. As a consequence, Hannah and I did not bond. It was just awful. I had a puppy whom I didn't think I could love. It took her getting seriously ill for the *love gene* to kick in and I knew that I didn't want to lose her. In the final analysis, it did work out I did love again, but I do understand that feeling of not wanting another dog. When I lost my Tizzie, I took my time to recover. After six months, I found myself looking at the dogs at HUA website. It was very gradual, and the feelings of wanting to adopt came and went. When the feelings ebbed, I just let up looking, I put in requests and then cancelled them at HUA. A coworker of my husband said she was taking a recently adopted dog back to the shelter and did I want to see him. I said sure, bring him over, seeing no harm in seeing the dog, and afterall, I didn't even want a male. I had no intention of keeping him when she suggested I could keep him for the weekend, but it took only a matter of hours for the *love gene* to kick in and the rest is history and Tucker found his forever home.

Sue, you will never *get over* Shiloh's passing. It is part of your very soul. Don't force yourself to do anything. But know that there is a tiny seed buried deep within you that can sprout and grow and let new love develop and thrive. It will happen when you least expect it. It will happen despite your sadness, your pain, your fear, your depression. You don't have to believe in it because it believes in you. You don't have to look for or try to find it, just try to recognize it when it starts to stir. Until then know that it's okay to mourn, okay to be true to the loves of your life.