Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Nelly's Christmas party. It was Cate who spiked the punch with too much orange juice. I can't help it if I drank 4 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like flowers.

I thought it was funny when I put cate's pants on my head and danced the disco on the couch while singing `Vivid'. I didn't mean to break Nelly's radio and don't know why Nelly would sue me for stealing.

I don't remember calling Randy's wife a soft horse---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Sarah's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that hamburger.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's bedroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a giant mule and have me arrested for failing to yeild!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fluffy and brown. And I'm really not to blame for any of this square stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and unfortunatly yours,
Audrey (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 8 bucks!