On Wednesday evening, November 23rd, one of our ministers called me to say that a baby who comes to our church nursery was in the hospital and they were looking for someone to come in and hold her, etc., because the mother couldn't because they thought the mother had impetigo, a contagious skin infection, etc. So I went to the hospital to spend some time with the baby. She turned 6 months old on the 25th, but is just now only about 6 pounds in weight. She was born on May 25th, extremely premature, weighing only 14 ounces. She was in the hospital in Omaha until October 8th, when they finally got to bring her home. She was hospitalized this time for congestion, and not getting enough oxygen.
I spent as much time as I could with her, holding her, feeding her, talking to her, changing her diaper, rocking her, etc., over the next several days. On Friday while I was there, another Sudanese couple came to the Pediatrics section with a chaplain, and said the mother was in the ER. She'd been coming to see the baby (but not hold her because of the "impetigo") and had a major seizure in the parking lot. I went to the ER, and her three- and four-year old children were in the waiting room, alone, while the other couple had gone to Pediatrics. I called the minister from our church who deals a lot with this family, and waited with the other children in the waiting room. The couple came and took the other children home before our minister got there.
When our minister got there, I explained as much as I knew about the situation with the mother to her. The staff let the minister in to see the mother, but the mother was unresponsive to her at that time. The mother was admitted for further testing and observation. She is a single Sudanese mother, and her children are ages 10, 7, 6, 4, 3, and the 6-month-old baby. Our minister went to the family's home to make sure the other children had someone staying with them, and to talk with them about what had happened to their mother, and why she was in the hospital. That was on Friday, the 25th.
I continued to spend as much time with the baby as I could over the weekend, and visited the mother several times as well. On Sunday evening before I left the hospital, I went to visit the mother and she was worried because she said her children were home alone. The relative who had been staying with them had left to return home, because she had to go back to work. I asked her if she wanted me to go see the children, or to call the minister, etc. She told me "No, someone is coming". I felt uneasy about it though, so I DID call our minister after I left, and explained the situation to her. She told me where the family lives, and gave me their phone number. I called the house and spoke with the 10-year-old, who confirmed that they were alone. I asked her if she wanted me to come and stay with them until someone else came, and she said "yes". She also said that someone would come in and check on them around 10:00 p.m., but that person wasn't going to stay there overnight.
I arrived at their house shortly after 9:00 p.m. The mother was on the phone from the hospital, trying to supervise the children that way, and very worried about them. The 10-year-old handed the phone to me, and I spoke with the mother. She was panicked at first when she heard my voice, until I got her to understand who I was. I reassured her that I would stay with the kids, and I would not leave them there alone. I told her I would stay overnight with them and get the older ones to school in the morning, etc. She calmed down then. The kids were all hungry and wanted a hot dog to eat. So I fed them, and got them all to bed. The mother called from the hospital a little later, after the kids were all asleep, and I again reassured her that I would stay there overnight with them and help her make arrangements for them the next day, etc.
I had called home and explained the situation to my son, and told my son to let my husband know, so my husband wouldn't be concerned about where I was at if/when he woke up, as my husband was already in bed. He had been good about bringing meals up to the hospital to me when I had been spending a lot of time with the baby, so that I wouldn't have to leave for meals, etc.
I slept on the couch in the living room, and got the kids up in time to get the three older ones ready for school. Around 6:45 a.m. a Sudanese relative came to the house. He was going to get the kids up and ready for school, and take them to school. I had seen him at the hospital a few times. I told him I would get the kids ready, but asked him if he would take the three older ones to school and he said he could. A little while later he called and said the schools had been closed due to the weather. I found it very difficult to believe that the city schools were closed, so I took ALL five kids in my van and drove to the school the three oldest ones go to, only to find that it WAS closed. So I took them all back home, and started thinking about what to do next.
I ended up calling another lady from our church who helps out with this family quite a bit. I asked her to come over and stay with the kids long enough to give me time to go home and shower, change clothes, take my medicine, and then go to the hospital to talk to the mother about other possible arrangements. She said she would come over. So I took the 10-year-old aside and told her what I had in mind. I explained to her that we didn't know how long her mother would be in the hospital, so I was going to go talk with her mother about the possibility of having the kids placed in temporary foster homes. I reassured her that I wouldn't call Health and Human Services without speaking with her mother about it first, but that it was a possibility that she and her siblings would be placed in foster care. She seemed to understand, and to trust me. I then told the second oldest, a boy, the same thing. He, too, seemed to understand. I told them that I would tell the younger ones later, after I had spoken to their mother, what the plans were.
The other lady came, and I was able to stop by home long enough to shower, change clothes, take my medicine, and feed our baby foster kittens, etc. My son and husband had been taking care of the kittens, but hadn't done it yet that morning and my son had to go to work at 9:00 so my husband took the van while I stayed home and did these things. When my husband got back, I took the van and went to the hospital to talk with the kids' mother. I stopped in briefly to see the baby first. Then I went to visit the mother. I explained to her that I didn't know how long she would be in the hospital, and that I had people arranged throughout that day (Monday) to take care of the kids, but that I had to work on Tuesday and didn't have anybody who could stay overnight with them Monday night and take care of them after that. I told her about the Crisis Center, and the Dept. of Health and Human Services, and asked her if she would mind if I got the hospital's Social Worker in to talk with her and help make arrangements for the other kids. She agreed to it, and I went out and asked one of her nurses to get a Social Worker for me. The nurse said the Social Worker had just been in to talk with the mother, and the mother had declined any help from her. I told her that the mother had now agreed to accept their help.
So the Social Worker came, and I explained things to her as best I could, and we went in together to see the mother. The mother agreed to let the Social Worker call the Crisis Center first. She came back a little later and said the Crisis Center couldn't do anything for the kids because the mother wasn't with them. They can't help unless the mother is actually with the kids. She said the only other option was to place the kids in voluntary emergency foster care, through the State Dept. of Health and Human Services. The mother agreed to let her contact HHS to do this, after I reassured her that it would only be temporary until she got out of the hospital and back home and was able to care for them again herself. I promised her that I would keep in contact with the kids, and that I would help her keep in contact with them, so that she would know where they were, etc. So the hospital's Social Worker went to make some phone calls to get some help from HHS. I gave her my cell phone number so she could get back in contact with me to let me know what would be happening, etc.
After this was all done, I went and picked up Margie, another lady who works in the church nursery with me, and together we went back to the house to relieve the other lady from church. Margie brought along some coloring books, and some food items, and a box of toys that someone had given her that came from Happy Meals or other kids meals from fast-food restaurants. I had called her earlier and explained the situation to her, and had asked if she could stay with the kids in the afternoon since I was supposed to work Monday afternoon. As it turns out, I didn't have to go to work because of the weather. And it was because of the weather that Margie was free to help out, because she works in food services at a school and would not have been available if school were in session.
When we got to the house, Lorraine (the lady from our church) said she would take the oldest girl to Walmart to get her glasses fixed, then bring her back home. Margie got the toys she had brought out for the kids, and they were an instant hit. I took the oldest girl aside before she left with Lorraine, and explained to her what was going to happen, and that her mother had agreed to place them in temporary foster homes. She was OK with it, and seemed to understand. She and Lorraine left then. I then spoke to the next oldest child, the 7-year-old boy, and told him what was going to happen. He, too, seemed to understand, and accept it. I decided to go ahead and tell the 6-year-old girl at that point, also, what was going to happen. She, too, seemed to be OK with it. I didn't want them to be worried when some strangers came to get them about where they were going, etc. I didn't say anything to the 4- and 3- year old children at that point, as I didn't think it would be wise to do so any sooner than absolutely necessary with them.
Margie continued to keep the kids busy, and to supervise them, while I paced the floor and handled phone calls to and from the hospital's Social Worker, Chaplain, our ministers at our church, and Health and Human Services. Lorraine also called, to say she and the oldest girl were now at Lorraine's house and were going to stay there until the road conditions improved, as she had gotten stuck in the Walmart parking lot, and had spun around 180 degrees on a street somewhere. They had not been successful in getting the glasses fixed, either.
The man who had stopped by earlier in the morning stopped by again sometime in here, and I explained the situation to him. I thought he would be angry about HHS being contacted to take the kids, but he, too, seemed relieved. He said that the problem was that he and his wife both had to work, and couldn't stay with the kids all the time, etc. He actually thanked me for my help. And the lady who had been staying with the kids until Sunday, when she had left to go back home, called sometime during all of this and also seemed relieved when I explained to her what was taking place. I made sure that they all understood that the mother had been consulted first, and had agreed to it, and it wasn't being done without her permission or behind her back or anything like that.
Around 2:00 a case-worker called me and asked me if there was any way possible I could stay another night with the kids, and she would come and get them early Tuesday morning. I told her I would not leave them there alone, but that I really needed to get back to work Tuesday morning. She asked me if I had a vehicle that I could transport them to the HHS office with, and I said I did. She said if I could do that, they could take them to temporary foster homes from there. She said they couldn't come and get them due to the road conditions, though (it was snowing and blowing, and very icy). So I told Margie, and we got the kids bundled up and ready to go. I told the six- and seven- year olds where we were going, and that they would be taken to foster homes from there. They were OK with it. We just told the younger children that we were going for a ride, and they thought that was OK, too.
We got them safely to the HHS offices, and I told the caseworker I would go get the 10-year-old, because I thought it was important they all see each other before they were separated into the foster homes. The three oldest were going to be placed in one home, and the two youngest in another home. So I left them there with Margie and the HHS people and the police officer, and went to get the 10-year-old. In the van on the way back to HHS with her, I told her that they were going to put the two littler ones in a different foster home than the one she and the two other children were going to. She sighed a huge sigh of relief and said "Whew, now I won't have to listen to them cry!" She was actually very relieved!
When we got back to HHS, the smaller children had already gone. I didn't get to tell them goodbye or give them a hug or reassure them about where they were going, and the oldest sister didn't get to see them before they left. The caseworker and the police officer who had taken the younger ones came back pretty soon and got the older kids to take them to their foster home. I did give all of them a hug, and reassured them it was only until their mother got home from the hospital and was well enough to take care of them again. The six-year-old said she hoped the new place had LOTS of toys, and said "Goodie!" that she got to go somewhere else! I asked the caseworker for information on where the kids were being placed, so that I could let their mother know and keep my promise to her, and they wouldn't give me that information. They said they'd have someone stop by the hospital the next day and give the mother the information.
Anyway, after I knew the children were in good hands, and were going to be supervised and taken care of, Margie and I went back out to the house to finish getting things put away and taken care of there. The mother had been asking for her purse, and had asked that we lock the house up for her with the keys that were in her purse. I'd had the 10-year-old get the keys out of the purse for me earlier, so I didn't have to get into the purse for anything myself. I just don't feel comfortable doing that. We then went back to my house to pick Terry up so he could have the van after Margie and I went to the hospital. Terry dropped us off at the hospital, and we went to see the baby and tell the nurses there what all had transpired. Margie held the baby while I went and visited with the mother for a little while.
I had to tell the mother that the HHS people wouldn't tell me where the kids were, but that they had said they would stop by the hospital the next day to let her know. I also had to tell her that the kids had been separated, and she was upset about that. But I told her it was just temporary, and reassured her that the children were safe and supervised, etc. We had a good visit. The mother told me things about her background, and opened up to me quite a bit about her fears for her children now, etc. I listened, and we prayed together before I left. I went back to Pediatrics and got Margie, and together we went and talked with the mother one more time. I promised her again that I would do everything in my power to get her back in contact with her kids. I told her I had to work the next day (Tuesday) but that I would check in on her in the evening to make sure she had been notified of where her children were. I reassured her repeatedly that HHS had promised someone would come and see her in the hospital and give her that information on Tuesday. And I told her that our minister would also be in touch with her the next day.
On Tuesday morning around 7:30 on my way to work, the mother called me and told me that she was going to be dismissed from the hospital later that afternoon. I told her that was great, and that I was going to work but that our minister would be stopping by to see her, and would be able to help her. I also told her that HHS was supposed to stop by and let her know where her kids were. Not long after I got home Tuesday evening, around 6:00 p.m., the mother called me from home and asked me where her kids were. She told me nobody had contacted her yet about where they were. I told her I would come over to her house and try to help her then, so I did.
She and the baby had both been dismissed, and the baby was home with her. The minister had been trying to call HHS all day, but the caseworker who had taken the kids to their foster homes on Monday wasn't in on Tuesday, and nobody had gotten back to the minister until late in the afternoon, at which time they told her that she would have to wait until the next day to talk to the caseworker. When I got to their home, I asked the mother to show me any papers she had been given from the hospital. She showed me the discharge summaries, and finally she gave me a paper with two people's names on it from HHS that she could have called and talked to re. her other children. She hadn't understood who they were, though, and hadn't tried to call them. I told her I would try my best to at least help her find out where they were yet that night.
I called the police department first. I explained the situation to them, and asked them if there was any way they could get me in touch with someone from HHS who could help us. They put me on hold for several minutes, then came back and told me I would have to help the mother call her caseworker in the morning, and that they couldn't help me any further than that. So I decided to call another lady I know, who does foster care, to see if she could help me. I explained the situation to her, and she gave me two numbers I could try. The first was a pager number for the on-call person at the agency that usually handles emergency foster care placements. I tried that number, and gave my cell-phone number for them to call back.
Through this process, I WAS able to finally find out the names and phone numbers of the two foster homes where the kids had been placed, and I gave this information to the mother. I helped her call them, and was able to get her in contact with the two youngest children and their foster parents first. She was greatly relieved, but then wanted me to go get them and bring them home to her! We made some more phone calls to the caseworker on call, etc., and finally the mother agreed that it was OK to wait until the next day for the children to come home, due to the terribly icy streets that night, etc. The older kids were out shopping for new clothes when I called their foster home, but I left a message for them to call home as soon as they returned. The mother wanted me to stay with her until she heard from them, so I did.
That was on Tuesday. On Wednesday I had to work all day, and then drive the church bus for the youth group's progressive supper on Wednesday evening. I learned through the minister that the kids had all been returned home that day, though---the younger ones in the morning and the older ones after school. I was GREATLY relieved to find this out, as I had promised them all that it would only be until the mother was home and able to care for them again, etc. I felt like my promise had been kept. I also learned that because the children had been placed into emergency foster care, they qualified for $150.00 each in clothing vouchers through Shopko. The older children had gone shopping with the foster parents on Tuesday and had gotten their new clothes, but the two little children hadn't had time to get their's, so they stil needed help with that.
On Thursday I had the afternoon off but had an appointment at 2:30. Afterwards I called the mother and asked her if I could come and get the two littler children and take them shopping for clothes at Shopko. She said that would be fine. I ended up taking them and their oldest sister, all three. We finished choosing clothes for the 3-year-old girl, but didn't have enough picked out for the boy, and the kids were getting really tired and crabby. So we went ahead and bought the clothes for the girl, and left the shopping cart for the boy at Customer Service so I could come back and finish that later. Then I took them home. I was on my way back to Shopko to finish the shopping for the boy when Margie called me from the church. She was supposed to do child-care there that evening for the CrossPoint rehearsal, but the child she cares for there didn't come because he was sick. So I went and picked her up, and when I told her what I was doing, she and her daughter said they'd come with me. So we ALL went back to Shopko to finish the shopping for the little boy. Then we stopped at Walmart so I could run in and get some Pull-Ups for the littlest boy to wear to bed, in case he wets the bed.
We then went back out to the family's house, and showed the mother all of the clothing we had chosen. She was pleased with everything. Margie and Pam helped get the clothing all put away, and I got the mother's medications all set up in a weekly dispenser container, to help her remember and to make it easier for her. She has been having some memory problems, and this way it will be easy to tell whether or not she is taking her medications, also. I explained to her two oldest children how to tell whether or not she has taken it, and the importance of her taking her medications. They seemed to understand. Another Sudanese lady came to help out while we were there, and I explained to her, also, about how the medication was set up.
It was around 10:00 p.m. when we left there, I think. I took Margie and Pam home, and then went home myself. I had to get up at 3:30 a.m. to go to McCook on Friday, and didn't get home until after 8:00 p.m. Friday evening. I was supposed to go to work this morning (Saturday) but overslept, and didn't have to go in because it was snowing so it worked out OK that I overslept...... I have been sleeping off and on most of the day today (Saturday) trying to catch up, and haven't been in contact with the family at all today. The kids want me to come over and help them set up their Christmas tree. I had told them I couldn't do it until today at the earliest. Since I didn't get over there today, I might see if I can get over there tomorrow afternoon sometime to help them do it. I know it would mean a lot to them. I have to babysit in the nursery in the morning, though.
SO, I have NOT had a lot of time to be on PT lately, but would like to ask for any & all prayers for this family. The mother has been diagnosed with Lupus, and has more doctor appointments coming up. I'm not sure what the seizure was from. Please keep this family in your prayers, though....
Thanks.
Deb
(Sorry this is so long!)
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You've been very busy. I am so proud of you!! Networking can be a very valuable tool in a crisis. You went above and beyond the call of duty. Those kids were very lucky to have you AND all the other wonderful people who were looking out for them.
12/02
❤️❤️
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