Ok, first you aren't a bad owner. A bad owner wouldn't recognize that Josie has special needs and would let her run around doing whatever she wants.

Dog aggression and human aggression are two entirely separate issues. Dog aggression can be managed safely and the dog can live a happy life. Human aggression is a whole different ball game. I have an extremely dog aggressive dog here. Kayleigh lives a protected, but happy life with 22 other dogs.

You are most likely to get bit by a dog aggressive dog when breaking up a fight. So learn how to do that safely. Kayleigh has a bite history--twice she nailed my hubby, both times before we really knew how to break up a fight safely. Since we figured that out, no bites from any of the dogs. We have also learned how to manage Kayleigh better! Kayleigh is a big mushpot with people. She loves even little kids. Given the chance, she'd rip most other dogs to shreds.

It's my job not to give her that chance and still keep her happy--That's your job with Josie. To protect her from herself! I keep Kayleigh away from my own dogs. She can see them and interact to some degree through the fence, but her fence is reinforced repeatedly to prevent escapes and fence fights. I make a special effort to ensure she gets extra human interaction since she misses out on the pack dynamic. I do the same things you do with her exercise--I walk her in the dark, in isolated areas, where she's unlikely to see other dogs. Kayleigh has improved a bit so I can walk her at times closer to home. I still wouldn't take her out on a Sunday afternoon, but on a Monday morning, sure! On-leash at all times of course, unless we are miles from nowhere! Where I live, Kayleigh can be declared dangerous if she attacks another dog and is off my property. If that happens, I've failed her. She can not control her instincts, crappy breeding and even worse puppyhood. I can.

Personally, I think your trainer is way off base. Dog aggression can be managed. I don't believe it can always be cured and intentionally aggravating a dog to the point it might bite is abusive!

As for how you feel about her, I think most people who post on boards like this love their dogs like kids, but your life has meaning beyond them too. There's no way to guarentee that any dog will live a long life and die a natural death in old age. I had a healthy, happy, well-adjusted dog go from that to gone in a matter of hours. Stuff happens, lousy, rotten stuff along with all the great stuff. Enjoy her while she's here, regardless of how long that may be. Don't focus on loosing her someday, that just takes away from your enjoyment of her while she's here.

Good luck with her. She's lucky to have an owner willing to work with her issues.