Serious help with "boss" needed!

[Corinna]

Ditto as the others said. I have the same problem with a freind on sewing Japanese jackets I charged less for a 2nd one as I was doing it at the same time . Now she expects all that she orders at the lower price. People!!! I'm glad she has gotten all her orders done on this pattern.

[catland]

I don't quite understand your business relationship with her. Does she send you work or allow you to use her as a referal? Is there a reason that she thinks she's "earned" these perks? What would happen to your relationship if you did stop doing these "favors"?.

If the only issue for you is the cost of supplies - make her purchase them for you - ink and paper both. You can even label the ink "her cartridge" and use it just for her requests.

I've learned that passive-agressive is not a good strategy. You need to be direct. Invite her out for coffee (neutral territory), and tell her exactly what the problem is and how you are very concerned that it could damage your friendship. and then mean it.

Ultimately, if she really doesn't get it, then she isn't a real friend.

[catnapper]

Thanks everyone!

She sent back a snippy e-mail today "Fine then don't do it. I'll just have to get it done myself" Which means... "I'll whine to someone else until they can't take it anymore and print them out for me"

I have told her a hundred times that Walmart has a Lexmark printer for $40. I told her that I had bought it last Christmas as a temporary printer and it worked GREAT, and that for her printing needs it would be all she neeeded. Noooo.... she has her heart set on the same Epson printer I have (a $300 printer that I DO NEED because of my artwork and printing photos of enlarged photos for my portraits)

Our work relation ship is this: she hires ME to do work for her. But she considers me her personal slave, then ALWAYS balks when I send my bill. She's been "better" since I pointed out that I rarely charge for certain things (was part of our agreement up front) and you won't believe this, but when I said that, the conversation ended up like this "Yes you do. No, I Don't. Yes you do. No, I Don't" She must have spoken to a friend of hers and confirmed that the designer they use charges them for everything, including ther items I do not. I'm finding out the items I don't charge for are becoming increasingly more time in my day.

I am at the point that even though its her work that pays the car loans each month... I'm to the point that as soon as someone else comes along that offers me the same hours each week, that I'll take those hours and slowly phase this other woman out. I have a feeling that IF I did find another independant sales rep with as much business, and she found out I was working for them that she'd tell me to go jump off a bridge. Which amazes me because she KNOWS I am FREELANCE. She knows I am my own company! But that doesn't stop her from CONSTANTLY bringing up the suggestion I go on her payroll (at least once a week she tells me she wants to ut me on payroll, and at least once a week I tell her I like the way it is now, on a job by job basis.)

She calls me a dozen times a day. If I'm on the phone and don't pick up, she calls my cell. Then if I don't poick the cell up, she calls the office again... then the cell, then the office until I finally finish the first call and pick her up. Then I get reamed out for not using call waiting (which I think is tacking in a business setting unless you know the other call is vitally important.) So what was the call that this woman called my phones non-stop for? "oh I'm just checking in!" Then instead of going over business matters, she goes on about her cat, her lover, how unfair her husband is, you name it. I'll be stuck on the phone for over an hour listening to her gossip! but if I start to gossip? She gets huffy and says "I don't have time for chit-chat, lets get this project done"

Sorry to go off like that I have a lot of annimosity towards her right now. I didn't even touch half the problems I've been having with her lately. She's lost touch with reality.

[Craftlady]

I'd tell this women to stick it up her hiney and walk away from this whole situation. She is no friend and an idiot of a boss. She wont be a successful business person and out of business in matter of time. Your association with her will hurt you in the long run, word gets out anyone working for her etc is going to have a hard time finding other work, people will think everyone acts that way. Cut your losses and get out ASAP.

[sasvermont]

I would sit down with her, explain yourself in full, and then find a new client. Friends don't treat each other the way she treats you from time to time. She ain't your friend my dear. She is using you and treating you poorly. I don't think she will change but merely find some other kind soul to take advantage of. Time to move on I am afraid.

Good luck!

[Corinna]

As a sub contractor YOU work the strings not her, she has really found out how much shes getting for free and is afraid of loosing you. So she is trying to domainate you I wouldn't be surprized that you find when you look for new clients she has already started submarining you.
My hubby had a contractor (hardwood flooring) who tried this stuff to so we just had the office/home phone on a machine , got a cell that only family had the # for. This guy would call as hubby was trying to get the floors done, well not getting done, He would talk for an hour at a time . If I answered the phone he'd want Tim and then want to know where he was and if I told him what job (before I learned about him) he'd drive out and pester him there. Finally getting the Machine and no call backs until 11pm waking his 6 month old (rotten aren't we) he stopped using us no lose as in a year we got only 2 small floors and then all the people did was bitch about it. People with no money trying to have a expensive floor they can't afford,then trying to use the cheapest crapest material. We recently hear that he started his own flooring and what we have heard is not good, in fact we have be asked to redo his screw ups. We have pasted them on to another company who can afford to do them Bigger company.
You just have to put your foot down, if you lose her as aclient and freind you just replace her . I don't like working for freinds, I'm polite and freindly to our clients but we do not socailize with them. If we do work for a freind a contract is made up explaining all possiblity and the out comes, also if changes are made in the process they are noted and intialed by the client just so there is no problem. (on these job I usually spend more time on the site than others)
Hope some of these ideas help. You aren't alone in this kind of thing. Just part of owning your own buisness.

[catnapper]

Thank you Corinna, it does help.

You see, we started out as "partners" helping each other grow each other's business..... somewhere along the line, she lost sight with reality and forgot I am my own company, and I work with her, not FOR her.

This morning we had a conversation where she once again brought up salary and this time she wants to get me insurance. Insurance that *I'd* pay 100% out of my own pocket.

Last week, I mentioned dropping off a color flyer with business cards at my vet for my animal portraits. She said her cat had a vet appointment and that she'd hang one of my flyers upo at her vets when she went. Okie dokie... so I mailed out a flyer and some business cards. Today she told me she went to a chamber of commerce meeting and showed my flyer around. WHAT?!?!? She's supposed to be there selling OFFICE FURNITURE, not my artwork! So now she wants a 50% cut of my portrait fee!!! I feel as if I don't get paid ENOUGH for my artwork... now just because she handed out MY CARD, she thinks she's able to demand a 50% referral fee? And she did this WITHOUT my knowledge? She's stepping WAAAYYY out of line here, now that she's trying to horn in on my artwork! Then she got pissy at me when I told her I did NOT want her handing out my flyers and making people contact her for MY artwork.

Of course she did not mention the whole printer/ink incident. I have the feeling she whined ot somebody else about how unfair I was, and the other person said "um, do you know how much ink costs?". Usually when she drops a subject, its because someone else pointed out I was right and she was wrong.

[Randi]

Kim, I agree with the others, you should bill her for the prints. If she refuses to pay, then end the business with her. She can't get it done cheaper than you do if you charge her the actual cost, so she'll come running back and beg you, I bet. She may try to get another to do it, but that person will get fed up with her in no time!

When John worked for a friend who owns a Bar, this guy wanted him to print A3 posters, but he was a really nice guy and bought the printer, as these posters were the only jobs he needed it for.

Good luck! I hope new customers will come your way!

[beeniesmom]

Something similar has happened to me:

My boss is out of town a lot and we don't have petty cash here. Whenever I need to mail stuff, I go and do it and save the reciept. Without saying anything to her, I leave the reciepts on her desk and post it saying "should I cut myself a check for this"?

You could try saving your ink cartridge reciepts and make a little spreadsheet for her adding in time, electricity and other costs. Kindly give it to her and say: I wouldn't bug you about this for a few sheets but since this is occurring so often I have to start charging you for this work. It's getting too pricey for me to do on a regular basis for free. I hope you understand.

EDIT*** I just read the above. This is not about a little Ink. This woman is clearly taking advantage of you. I would break it off immediately. She is just trying to make a buck off of you. Get away from this situation. AND she had no right to charge you for the referral. You don't have any written agreement so I'd tell he to go to hell.