Serious help with "boss" needed!

**kimlovescats** · 11-29-2005, 10:57 PM

Kim ... she is taking advantage of your friendship!!! You stood up for yourself, now DON"T BACK DOWN!!! If she is willing to lose a friendship over something like this, then she's not a real friend. Also, as a business person, she should know better. YOU, as a business person DO know better, and that's why you WILL NOT let her treat you this way any more! RIGHT???

Your work is worth every penny, and don't forget it!

Hugs,
Kim

**areias** · 11-29-2005, 11:22 PM

Tell her to get a color printer...or you'll find someone else to replace her. In a nice way, though.

Your telling me she can't walk her butt out the door, go to walmart, and pick up a printer? They have color printers for $24.99! I think she's just using you.

**Corinna** · 11-29-2005, 11:38 PM

Ditto as the others said. I have the same problem with a freind on sewing Japanese jackets I charged less for a 2nd one as I was doing it at the same time . Now she expects all that she orders at the lower price. People!!! I'm glad she has gotten all her orders done on this pattern.

**catland** · 11-30-2005, 12:46 AM

I don't quite understand your business relationship with her. Does she send you work or allow you to use her as a referal? Is there a reason that she thinks she's "earned" these perks? What would happen to your relationship if you did stop doing these "favors"?.

If the only issue for you is the cost of supplies - make her purchase them for you - ink and paper both. You can even label the ink "her cartridge" and use it just for her requests.

I've learned that passive-agressive is not a good strategy. You need to be direct. Invite her out for coffee (neutral territory), and tell her exactly what the problem is and how you are very concerned that it could damage your friendship. and then mean it.

Ultimately, if she really doesn't get it, then she isn't a real friend.

**catnapper** · 11-30-2005, 08:02 AM

Thanks everyone!

She sent back a snippy e-mail today "Fine then don't do it. I'll just have to get it done myself" Which means... "I'll whine to someone else until they can't take it anymore and print them out for me"

I have told her a hundred times that Walmart has a Lexmark printer for $40. I told her that I had bought it last Christmas as a temporary printer and it worked GREAT, and that for her printing needs it would be all she neeeded. Noooo.... she has her heart set on the same Epson printer I have (a $300 printer that I DO NEED because of my artwork and printing photos of enlarged photos for my portraits)

Our work relation ship is this: she hires ME to do work for her. But she considers me her personal slave, then ALWAYS balks when I send my bill. She's been "better" since I pointed out that I rarely charge for certain things (was part of our agreement up front) and you won't believe this, but when I said that, the conversation ended up like this "Yes you do. No, I Don't. Yes you do. No, I Don't"

She must have spoken to a friend of hers and confirmed that the designer they use charges them for everything, including ther items I do not. I'm finding out the items I don't charge for are becoming increasingly more time in my day.

I am at the point that even though its her work that pays the car loans each month... I'm to the point that as soon as someone else comes along that offers me the same hours each week, that I'll take those hours and slowly phase this other woman out. I have a feeling that IF I did find another independant sales rep with as much business, and she found out I was working for them that she'd tell me to go jump off a bridge. Which amazes me because she KNOWS I am FREELANCE. She knows I am my own company! But that doesn't stop her from CONSTANTLY bringing up the suggestion I go on her payroll (at least once a week she tells me she wants to ut me on payroll, and at least once a week I tell her I like the way it is now, on a job by job basis.)

She calls me a dozen times a day. If I'm on the phone and don't pick up, she calls my cell. Then if I don't poick the cell up, she calls the office again... then the cell, then the office until I finally finish the first call and pick her up. Then I get reamed out for not using call waiting (which I think is tacking in a business setting unless you know the other call is vitally important.) So what was the call that this woman called my phones non-stop for? "oh I'm just checking in!"

Then instead of going over business matters, she goes on about her cat, her lover, how unfair her husband is, you name it. I'll be stuck on the phone for over an hour listening to her gossip!

but if I start to gossip? She gets huffy and says "I don't have time for chit-chat, lets get this project done"

Sorry to go off like that

I have a lot of annimosity towards her right now. I didn't even touch half the problems I've been having with her lately. She's lost touch with reality.

**Craftlady** · 11-30-2005, 09:32 AM

I'd tell this women to stick it up her hiney and walk away from this whole situation. She is no friend and an idiot of a boss. She wont be a successful business person and out of business in matter of time. Your association with her will hurt you in the long run, word gets out anyone working for her etc is going to have a hard time finding other work, people will think everyone acts that way. Cut your losses and get out ASAP.

**sasvermont** · 11-30-2005, 09:46 AM

I would sit down with her, explain yourself in full, and then find a new client. Friends don't treat each other the way she treats you from time to time. She ain't your friend my dear. She is using you and treating you poorly. I don't think she will change but merely find some other kind soul to take advantage of. Time to move on I am afraid.

Good luck!