My dog is afraid of my husband - need advice

[ramanth]

I grabbed some of her answers in her other post. I also shared with her a link to PT so I hope she joins and chimes in.

I feed London. along with the re-housetraining, grooming, playing, taking on walks, and, everything!

JP already mentioned that if he was forced to spend time with him alone, perhaps that would help.

As far as us sitting on the couch and trying to get London to approace us, we've tried that on a daily basis. He still stays in the bedroom (down the hallway, still in eye sight of us) and refuses to come out.

We've also tried the, me having London hold still while Jp slowly comes up, talking gently trying to pet him. He gets within 3 steps from us, and London will struggle with all he's got to get away from me. I just can't hold him, and I dont want to tramatize him. We haven't tried that daily, more like every few days, still nothing!

Is there anything I haven't tried?

[ramanth]

Thanks Angie! I totally forgot that Buddy was scared of your hubby.

And Amy... lol! I figured by posting the subject that way, it'd intice people to check it out.

Kia fears the big bad mommy who enforces the rules. She knows she can boss Andy around.

[jackie]

We've also tried the, me having London hold still while Jp slowly comes up, talking gently trying to pet him. He gets within 3 steps from us, and London will struggle with all he's got to get away from me.

Wow, that sounds like the worse thing that you could do.

My advice is let JP feed him and come along on the walks whenever he can. Cindymom's treat idea sounds really good too. I hope they manage to find a solution soon.

[K9soul]

I'd recommend this book/pamphlet The Cautious Canine

I'd also use methods found in The Dog Listener by Jan Fennel. I wonder if they have tried having him just completely ignore the dog for a week or so, no looking at, no talking to, no trying to make friends at all. Sometimes for a fearful dog, this helps them relax and come up on their own and they feel safer and less threatened. If he did this for awhile and then London began cautiously approaching to check him out, I'd still have him ignore him and maybe have her (the owner) toss London a treat when he approached, and gradually move that over to him tossing the treat but not looking at him and ignoring him still. Just continue in this way until he seems comfortable in each situation, i.e. glancing at him and then tossing the treat, waiting till he gets closer, eventually holding out the treat without looking at him until he takes it from his hand, and so on.

I have found with Tasha, who is very suspicious and fearful of men other than my husband, that if I can get them to just ignore her she will relax and approach them after awhile, sniffing. If they turn their attention on her she backs away and gets frightened again. I find that the more they try to coo at her and make friends with her, the more upset and frightened she gets. If they hold out a treat she gets even more suspicious and agitated. It could be his attentions are actually making things worse right now.

The above method is what I'd try in that situation. It will take time and patience but I think it has a high chance of succeeding. Good luck and I hope any of these ideas may help!

[Vela]

I'd recommend this book/pamphlet The Cautious Canine

I'd also use methods found in The Dog Listener by Jan Fennel. I wonder if they have tried having him just completely ignore the dog for a week or so, no looking at, no talking to, no trying to make friends at all. Sometimes for a fearful dog, this helps them relax and come up on their own and they feel safer and less threatened. If he did this for awhile and then she began cautiously approaching to check him out, I'd still have him ignore her and maybe have her (the owner) toss her a treat when she approached, and gradually move that over to him tossing the treat but not looking at her and ignoring her still. Just continue in this way until she seems comfortable in each situation, i.e. glancing at her and then tossing the treat, waiting till she gets closer, eventually holding out the treat without looking at her until she takes it from his hand, and so on.

I have found with Tasha, who is very suspicious and fearful of men other than my husband, that if I can get them to just ignore her she will relax and approach them after awhile, sniffing. If they turn their attention on her she backs away and gets frightened again. I find that the more they try to coo at her and make friends with her, the more upset and frightened she gets. If they hold out a treat she gets even more suspicious and agitated. It could be his attentions are actually making things worse right now.

The above method is what I'd try in that situation. It will take time and patience but I think it has a high chance of succeeding. Good luck and I hope any of these ideas may help!

I have to agree with k9soul on this one. This method actually worked VERY well for Ginger when she first came to live with me. She was terrifed of men and would run and hide and sometimes pee in fright. She actually kocked the broom over on herself once and she saw my husband with it in his hand, because he picked it up, and she figured for sure he had hit her with it. We used the above method of him ignoring her and pretending she wasn't there and now she will hardly leave him alone. I would stop trying to get him to give her treats, she is obviously so afraid of him that it doesn't matter what he's offering, she won't take it and eat it. A fearful dog doesn't care about treats, they care about getting away from what is scaring them. Please give this a try, I don't want to see you have to rehome London and the treats thing, at this stage, really won't make things better at this stage.

[pitc9]

I bought the pamphlet The Cautious Canine, it has a lot of great things in it. It help to understand the dog and how they react to their own fears.

Have your boyfriend be the #1 provider for the dogs needs; feeding, treats, walks.. etc. EVERYTHING!!! Also have him ignore the dog, like Tanya said, let the dog approach him at her own pace.
It took Buddy 9 months before he would take a treat out of my hubbies hand. Not even a huge chunk of steak would get Buddy to come near him.
I find now that if my hubby is laying on the floor (the leat threating posture) Buddy will come right up to him and let Rick pet him, no closer than an outstreached arm's lenght. But still.. he'll come up to him.
But if Rick moves the slightest bit, Buddy will dart away as far as he can, taking out anyone and anything in his path.
Tell your boyfriend to be cautious if/when he tries to give her treats from his hand, Rick has gotten his fingers Chomped on a few times by Buddy!!
It's a little safer to put the treat in the palm of his hand.
Now that we've gotten a little further with Buddy, Rick is finally able to put a collar and leash on him (it too 2 years for this to happen) Rick and Buddy go for walks/runs together. He'll also put him on a leash and just walk him around the house. Twice now while Rick's had Buddy on a leash in the hose Rick made to sudden of a move that Buddy wasn't expecting and Buddy has pooped himself!
I wouldn't try that just yet with your boyfriend and dog... that's further down the road.
As far as London staying in the bedroom and not comming out, don't let London go IN the bedroom. Close the door and don't give him a place to run to. I did that for a long time with Buddy, he would stay in another room (peaking around the corner keeping an eye on where Rick is at all times) And I would let him do that. Once we met with the behaviorists, they said to block off the room you all are in, and don't let him run away. I did this by using a gate to block off our living room. He would lay right by the gate, but at least he was in the same room with us!
Again, I HIGHLY recomend you 3 meeting with a behaviorist!!
It was the best thing I did!

[Miss Z]

i saw a tv programme on this a while ago, and as harsh as this may sound, you should pay little attention to the dog for a while and let your boyfriend do the things you would usually do. This could make him feel that there are people besides you who can care for him. However if the dog is still scared and refuses to bond with him, don't drag it out too long. It could easily go the other way and make the dog feel like you have also left him.

Hope they get on soon!