joke thread

[Randi]

Jolly Flight Attendant

I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great."

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight attendant came back and said to her: "Ma'am, perhaps you couldn't hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane."

She still wouldn't comply. Now he was getting angry and asked her again to put up the tray.

She then calmly turned to him and said: "In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one."

Our flight attendant replied: "Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I'm called a queen and I outrank you, bitch, so put the tray up!"



A passenger piled his cases on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the clerk, "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the square case to go to Denver and the two round ones to go to Seattle."
"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't do that."
"Why not? You did it last time!"



It was mealtime during our trip on a small airliner flying over the northwest. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.