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Thread: Did I do the right thing? (Advice needed)

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,861
    We have all heard the quote:
    Edmund Burke said, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing
    This quote applies in big and small situations.

    If you had not said anything, he could have gone on blissfully thinking there was nothing wrong with tht kind of statement. If he gets fired, it is still not your fault. He made the inappropriate comment, not you!

    You did the right thing.

    You did the right thing.

    You did the right thing.

    You did the right thing.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,311
    Samantha Puppy,

    YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! If he's done it in the past, he'll keep on doing it until he's put in his place. Do NOT feel guilty. People like him cannot go around saying stuff like that without consequences. Let the higher ups deal with him. That's why they get paid the big bucks. You did nothing wrong.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio USA
    Posts
    11,467
    Wow. Hate to weigh in as the minority here...but, I wouldn't have EVER said anything to a boss, etc. This guy will get in serious trouble, probably, for something I bet wasn't meant at all.

    Now, I am NOT saying sexually offensive jokes have their place in the workplace, but, sheesh, it might have been an 'innocent' but, inappropriate, comment.

    I would have sent an email back and said, "uh, I bet you didn't mean to offend me, but, you did. I don't talk like that, email like that, and would prefer if you left me out of that sort of stuff".

    Of course, if he continued to be like that with you, I would have said something to someone.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    california
    Posts
    8,397
    I 100 percent think you did the right thing. I am actually more offended by his racial slur than anything, what a racist bigoted pig. I have never heard the slang he said to you but it was obviously derogatory to you and to african americans.
    don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die....

    I have been frosted!

    Thanks Kfamr for the signature!


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    6,648
    I think you did the right thing.

    Did your boss talk to this co-worker yet about the situation? I'm thinking he may get a warning of some kind. He may get a verbal warning or a written warning. Heck, he may even get fired. I like to joke around with my co-workers and we can push it pretty far. But it sounds like that guy went too far and crossed the line.

    He has to learn he can't say things like that. It's inappropriate. And the fact he wrote it in an email? He's dumb, for sure.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3,250
    Well I just found out that about a month after he began here (December '04), he was given a warning because he said something that offended another coworker. I also found out that his previous job was contractual and that it wasn't renewed because his old coworkers had such an issue with him saying inappropriate things. So this is definitely not a new thing with him.

    Cataholic, I don't think it was meant maliciously but given his history of saying stupid things (some of which I was aware, some of which I wasn't until just now), he's got to learn what sort of behavior is appropriate in the workplace. He doesn't know me well. The e-mail between us leading up to that comment wasn't provocative in nature at all which makes the comment even worse - it came out of left field. That takes a little bit of the innocence out of it for me... As I mentioned before, this guy and I are not friends. If he has the gall to say something like that to me, what's to stop him from saying something like that to a coworker from another office or worse yet, a client?

    I am not a nasty or malicious person. I hate confrontation. If I had a position in this company that allowed me to remove myself from certain people's company, that would've been my course of action. But I can't do that - I'm the administrative assistant and my job is to assist everyone. I really didn't see any other route to take...



  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Ploss's Halfway House for Homeless Cats
    Posts
    18,311
    I'm the administrative assistant and my job is to assist everyone. I really didn't see any other route to take
    With all due respect, given this guy's history, you do NOT need to explain or apologize for the way you handled it. I admire you for keeping your cool through it all. I wouldn't have been as nice.

    Rest In Peace Casey (Bubba Dude) Your paw print will remain on my heart forever. 12/02
    Mollie Rose, you were there for me through good times and in bad, from the beginning.Your passing will leave a hole in my heart.We will be together "One Fine Day". 1994-2009
    MooShoo,you left me too soon.I wasn't ready.Know that you were my soulmate and have left me broken hearted.I loved you like no other. 1999 - 2010See you again "ONE FINE DAY"
    Maya Linn, my heart is broken. The day your beautiful blue eyes went blind was the worst day of my life.I only wish I could've done something.I'll miss your "premium" purr and our little "conversations". 1997-2013 See you again "ONE FINE DAY"

    DO NOT BUY WHILE SHELTER ANIMALS DIE!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    I hail from South Carolina, but Texas is where I hang my hat :)
    Posts
    9,989
    Jaime, you did the right thing. If this was the first time he'd said sexual, inappropriate things at the workplace, I'd see maybe not taking it to the boss. He's already been warned, though, and, it hasn't improved. I hope he learns his lesson, either way.
    The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world. - Dr. Paul Farmer

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