Dr. Lee called and said "Well, it isn't as bad as I thought it might be but it isn't good either." Her creatinine was 6.something. He thought it might go as high as 9 and he said that, if it did go that high, that would be unacceptable. She is not anemic but her white blood cell count is at 37,000, up from 17,000. Not good. He said that I could either start her on antibiotics at home and give her SQ fluids twice a day now. Or I could take her back in and they'd start the IV antibiotics and double the fluids. I asked if she stood as good a chance by staying at home, even though it would take the antibiotics longer to start working since I'd be administering them orally. He said "Do you want the honest truth?" I said "Yes, of course!" He said "No, her chances would not be good. She's going down very quickly. She's really sick and she feels it." Sigh.

So....I took her back in and my heart was so heavy that I could barely breathe. She just curled up in a ball in the carrier and her breathing was so shallow that I had to check a couple of times to make sure she was still alive. She put up a fuss, though, when I took her out of the carrier and handed her over to Dr. Lee. He said that, if he can get her white cell count down, then he'll feel optimistic. If he can't.... I don't even want to finish the sentence. I'm just sick about this. I hated leaving her. Hated it. She'll be alone and she hates being fussed with anyhow. And she smelled bad from the renal failure plus she has a severe kidney infection, he said.

I hope I did the right thing. If she passes over while she's alone, I won't be able to bear it. But when he said that she had a fighting chance by taking her back in, I felt that I should give her that chance.

Blessings,
Mary