Like all of you, the first thing that I did when I opened up today's Cat of the Day and saw Smiles was smile. As they say, it is good to smile in the face of adversity, and Smiles has certainly done that.

Smiles is a grand and beautiful cat, obviously loved by her human devotees, but I must take exception to one thing that was said about her. While no one knows everything (as hard as it must be to believe, not even me) and certainly I have not seen the event for myself, I am none-the-less certain that Smiles does not fetch like a dog. Smiles fetches like a cat, in a most graceful and beautiful way - even to daintily picking up the object in her Paws first.

Should Smiles carettakers ever grow weary of her company (Hey! put down those stones! Don't throw them at me!) then I invite them to put her on a plane headed north. We will pick her up at Ted Stevens International Airport, drive her out here to the valley and then she can sit here in this office with The Black Cat and me and watch tropical fish of various size and color swim about in their many aquariums.

I am certain she would be most pleased. So put her on that plane. Send her north.

OUCH! You have mighty big stones in Vermont and you hurl them hard! You must have pitched for the Boston Red Sox!

I have been out walking. I'm afraid to look at my shoes, because I am picking up the distinct odor of dog poop. Someone ought to teach them how to use litter boxes, like a cat.

Now I will do what needs to be done and then go drink a Pepsi.