joke thread

[captain]

ROTFL!!!!

[trayi52]

I really love that one Pam, LOL I bet that wasn't the way he intended on not seeing his wife! Good enough for him, and very good for her!

[amoore]

That was a great joke! LOL! He got what he deserved!

[LauralG]

This is a great joke they were all really good lol.













Thankyou for the signature Willie it's really pretty I love it.

[GoldenRetrLuver]

LOLOLOLOL!! Tonya and Slick.

[anna_66]

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been
to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Well, here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer
these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T is
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a**-kissing will take you.
A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while
Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get
you there, Bulls**t and A**-kissing will put you over the top

[Pam]

OK here's my latest contribution. Just got this one today in an e-mail from my brother.

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, father of four."

[amoore]

Good one Pam! LOL!

[trayi52]

Long, long ago an old Indian chief was about to die, so he
called for Geronimo and Falling Rocks, the two bravest
warriors in his tribe. The chief instructed each to go out
and seek buffalo skins. Whoever returned with the most
skins would be chief.

About a month later Geronimo came back with one hundred
pelts; sadly, Falling Rocks never returned.

Today as you drive through the West you can see the
evidence of love and devotion the tribe had for this
brave. At nearly every mile marker there are signs saying,
"Watch for Falling Rocks."

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

LOL Great jokes you guys!

*smack*

[BitsyNaceyDog]

This is funny because it's such a stupid joke. It's my favorite joke.

What is big and green and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?





...............................A pool table

[amoore]

You guys LOL! Too funny! LOL!

[Miss Meow]

A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole hole.

One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"

The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell is....




MOLASSES!!!!!!

[gini]

Paddy, the famous Irishman, is driving home after downing

a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his

horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that

there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves

again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a

slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to

avoid all the trees.

Moments later, he hears the sound of a police siren and

brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Paddy's

car and asks him what on earth he was doing.

Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the

officer stops him mid sentence and says, "Fer Chris sakes,

Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"

[G.P.girl]

ok, we have this sub at school and everyday she tells us a corny joke or two, here are a few of them:

--Why is the bottom of the ocean floor wet?

--because the sea weed


-What did the salmon say when he ran in to a concrete wall?

- Dam.


---what did 0 say to 8?

---Nice belt.

And my favorite

-why was 6 afriad of 7?

--Because 789!!!

lol :P