I hate my MIL!!!!

[Lobodeb]

I'm just now reading this and can relate. I'm not crazy about my MIL either but we won't go into that.

I still think honesty is the best policy here. How would your MIL react if you were to just sit her down and say something to the tune of, "I appreciate you wanting to have a party for me, but I would prefer if you worked WITH my mom in giving us the kind of party that WE want. I didn't feel comfortable at my bridal shower and don't want to have to travel down that road again, but I appreciate the thought." This way, she can still feel like she's contributing (if she doesn't take over again) and you won't have to deal with her throwing you a separate shower. Also, explain to her that although she may not agree with having men and beer at your party, it's what YOU want. Times change, she can accept it or not take part at all. Those are her choices. The ball is now in her court. You'll still be allowing her to contribute, but not dominate and hopefully, in the end, you'll get the party you wanted.

Good luck.

[BitsyNaceyDog]

Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this stress. I know how you feel about being the center of attention. I have panic attacks when I get in situations like that. I didn't have a bridal shower and when I'm pregnant I won't have a baby shower either. I'd rather buy everything myself than have a shower. I'm sure when it comes time my family and friends will want to buy things for my baby even though I won't have a shower.
I don't like the idea of a shower anyway (I hope no one takes offense at this, because I mean none). I feel like a shower is something no one ever wants to go to, but when invited to one they feel obligated to go to it. I don't want people to feel the have to give me a gift (and lets face it, that's basically the reason for a shower). If someone wants to give my baby a gift then they will without feeling obligated.

I much more like the idea of a co-ed party (not shower!) to celebrate this special event in ALL of your lives. This baby will be a part of all your family and friends lives too. A party to celebrate that is a lovely idea. Gifts not necessary (though most would probably give them anyway).