I wouldn't show up....that would show her!!! I can totally sympathize with you. I too hate being the center of attention. I am leaving tomorrow morning to fly out and get married, just him and I. I did not want a wedding where everyone was looking at me and oooohhing and aaawwwing over me. Uh, that is so not me. Just call and tell her, you throw that party and you can count me out and if you want me to come to a party do it the way I want it with my MALE friends and pizza and beer. Why have a snipity pretentious atmosphere where YOU don't feel comfortable, she needs to learn to respect YOUR decisions. Ok enough from me.