So sorry that she is stressing you out. Could you just come out and tell her how you feel. Maybe show her what you've posted here and let her know that your wants/needs come BEFORE hers. Or perhaps your hubby could talk to his mom and explain to her that a shower is not the right way to go and that it will be a party or nothing. Someone needs to stand up to her. I'm sorry, but in your condition you should not be stressing so much. Please take a deep breath, have a nice cup of tea and try to relax.