128 - skuel dayzed & confused

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

You guuu-uuu---uuys! Terry graduated in 1965 making you all a bunch of youngsters, so stop making me feel like I'm living with a guy who is older than dirt!

Two cute jokes I got to liven things up around here.

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know
each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom
was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over
and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk
broom!!!"

"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?
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Brace yourself; this is going to hurt.
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Keep going on down.
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"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"

Sounds to me like she's been "sweeping" around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And number 2:
An Arkansas mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen.

When she got home, she asked her husband. "What is a specimen?"

He replied, "Danged if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse."

The woman went next door and came back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple bruises on her face and body.

"What in the tarnation happened?" asked her husband.

"Danged if I know." she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go pee in a bottle. I told her to go fart in a jug and then all hell broke loose."

bada-bump-bump

[Lady's Human]

You've all heard the one about the blonde whose Doctor tells her "Congratulations, Ma'am, you're Pregnant!" The Blonde turns to the doc and asks, Oh my Gosh, is it mine?