I think the most common thought/reaction in reference to the spouse is, how do they put up with them. I don't think anybody would think two miserable people could live together, so the assumption is the spouse must be an angel. I remember we had a particularly demanding female co-worker, after working out a deal with one of the men in the office, she smiled at him and said,"you should be glad you aren't married to me." I think that is the general feeling.