Michelle - I had to make the decision to euthanize my RB Bert many years ago - we lost him to cancer which was a large tumor in his chest and making it difficult for him to breathe.

I remember the terrible re-thinking, what if?? maybe I should have?? how about this??? ....and those thoughts that are probably haunting you right now. It took a very long time - but now I have very peaceful memories and am definitely very glad that he did not have to suffer any longer. Struggling to breathe is terrifying. Dying with your loved one holding him is what I am glad Bert experienced. My memories now are of picking up Missy at school, bringing her over to the vet, and together holding and comforting Bert as he simply stopped breathing.

Right now you have so many emotions working - you have just lost your little girl. I wish there was a way to erase those guilty feeling right now but they just keep coming anyway. But it does get much easier and there will be a time when you will know you did the most loving thing for Lilith. It takes lots of time though but each day is a tiny bit better.

Maybe in a few days, weeks, even months ...you can write to us about some of your memories of Lilith. I did not have PetTalk when I lost Bert and would have loved to have someone to tell about him to...

I can't really pretend to understand what you are thinking and going through - but some of it must be similar to what I went through - and what many of us here have had to do.

I am so sorry that you are so sad right now