Michelle, I know how you must have been torn by having to make one of the choices, but with the information you provided there really was no choice. You couldn't take the chance of something happening to her on the table all alone and scared, bringing her home and watching her suffer certainly was not a choice, you did the only thing you could do and you did it because you loved her so much. I know the pain in your hearts is very raw and fresh right now and it is hard to see things through that pain, but I hope one day you will be able to get past second guessing yourself and just remember the love the 3 of you shared in the 18 months you had her. "Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all". Lilith is still in your hearts and memories and no one can take that away from you.

(((Hugs)))
Amanda