"Don't get your bowels in an uproar"
1950's translation: Don't get so excited about it
1970's translation: Cool it man
1990's translation: OH DADDDDDDD!!! (as stated by an exasperated daughter)

"I speck I reckon"
Translation: I suppose

"ah huh"
Translation: Yes, of course I heard what you were saying!

"it's purt near"
Translation: It's very close to...

"mind your own beeswax"
Translation: Mind your own business!