I was thinking about the negative aspects of sending a cat into outer space.

but then again....

I remember during the early days of the US space program that astronauts would release
their liquid waste into orbit. The water would instantly freeze and the astronauts were treated
the sun reflecting off the 'yellow water' that followed the capsule.

They would call their little show the "Constellation Urion"..

There are two problems with cats......

The first is with cat litter....Lord knows the mess you get on the floor.
Traveling in zero gravity with a cat would be an experience.

Now If you finally figure out how to get a cat into outer space and find a way to get the waste out of the
space craft you now have this problem.....

Cat-steroids.......Frozen chunks of cat poop orbiting the planet.

The good parts????
When they fall back into the atmosphere think of the light show!!
You really don't have to worry about it being a 'falling star' just close your eyes, make a wish and
pray that it don't hit you on the head.

Thinking this thru a little farther you come across the military value of a cat-steriod. Hundreds of cats,
orbiting the earth--- Flying food into orbit is another part of the equation, so let's just go with the end result for the moment..

For the sake of arguement....
Each cat produces 4 ounces of poop each day (112 grams) 4 cats= 448 grams or one pound of cat crap.

Let's say that 1,000 cats can produce 250 lbs (113 kilos) of solid waste per day, the weight of a standard gravity bomb in the US
military arsenal. In four weeks those 1,000 orbiting cats can create 7,000 lbs or roughly 3,181 kilos of feline poo poo.

Orbiting at 24,000 miles an hour above the earth those 7,500lbs/3409kilos could be nudged out of orbit and toward anyplace
on the earth's surface.

At impact the speed of the SHSBSCC would be much slower due to the effect of the earth's atmosphere by the time it hits the target....BUT....

I think the scientific formula is something like M(ass) times S(peed) minus F(riction)= a Super Hot Stinking Ball of Speeding Cat Crap Bomb*.


Contrary to popular belief this SHSBSCC* Bomb does not need to be a explosive device in the traditional sense.



There are two ways of using a SHSBSCCB - As an impact bomb or an airburst weapon -Both have distinct advantages.

As an impact weapon you can use it directly on any targeted building or site you choose.

As an airburst weapon a small explosive charge can be programmed to detonate at a predetermined altitiude, thus covering more
area with only one weapon.

The other advantages are the SHSBSCCB is it's biodegradable, has no long term effect on the enviroment -of course, pregnant women are more at risk
from Toxoplasmosis.....It says that on the cat litter bags/boxes!! - and when all is said and done an area impacted with the SHSBSCCB can be inhabited soon after.
The area can be decontaminated by either pail and a mop or with a pack of dogs (THAT is another mystery! Why do dogs eat kitty crap?).

The psychological effect of the SHSBSCC can be devastating. First, the populace must deal with the smell, the texture and finally, the actual cleanup.

One other observation during the testing of the SHSBSCCB was that after few alcoholic drinks, bending over a stinky cat box can make you puke.

The problem of getting those desired effects on the target area is getting everyone drunk at the same time...


I have to think this one thru again.....